You came home from ceremony changed — but the life that was waiting for you didn’t know that yet.

In this episode, we walk through the four essential dimensions of integration: the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual.

In this episode you’ll discover:

• 🌿 What integration actually means — and why the Latin root of the word holds the key to everything
• 🌍 The Physical Direction — why your body is the foundation of all transformation, and what it means to treat it as a temple
• 💧 The Emotional Direction — how to let the river within flow freely, without being swept away or shutting it down
• 🌬️ The Mental Direction — why the mind is not your enemy, and how to enter into a sacred relationship with it
• ✨ The Spiritual Direction — what it means to live the mystery, not just experience it in ceremony
• 🔥 Why most people have the same ceremony over and over — and what the medicine is actually trying to show you

Whether you’re preparing for your first ceremony or still making sense of one that changed everything, this episode offers a grounded and sacred map for what real integration looks and feels like.

Where are you on your healing journey?

…. Are you integrating the medicine?The medicine showed you something real. Now the real work begins — and you don’t have to do it alone.Join our weekly circle: 1 hour of breathwork, 1 hour of live integration. Monthly themes. Weekly support. People who truly get it.

👉 JOIN THE CIRCLE — FIRST ONE FREE:

https://aia.myflodesk.com/hnng12duwd

…Or are you becoming the medicine?Maybe you already feel it — you’re not only here to heal. You’re here to help others heal too.Join our free masterclass and find out what that path really looks like.

👉 JOIN THE FREE MASTERCLASS: https://aia.myflodesk.com/sw3prpkuy8

TRANSCRIPT:

0:00

What happens when the most sacred experience of your life starts colliding with the life that was waiting for you when you got home from a ceremony?

As if the ayahuasca opened something true within you, but your body, your mind, your emotions and your spirit didn’t know how to live it, Not just yet.

0:21

In this episode of the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast, I will walk you through the four essential dimensions of integration, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

Because transformation is not just about what you see and feel and understand during the ceremony.

0:37

It’s about whatever those revelation can actually land in your body, in your choices, in your relationships, and in your daily life.

We look at what each dimension is asking of you and where people often get stuck, and how to work with your experience in a way that supports real embodiment.

0:55

So wherever you’re preparing for your first ceremony or trying to make sense of one that has changed your life, this episode offers a crowded map for integration and transformation.

1:17

Camino.

1:40

So my friend, you had a really profound experience and ceremony and then you wake up a week later and probably you got the same patterns, the same wounds, the same unconscious reactions, and you’re wondering what’s what’s going on here?

Why didn’t your entire life change?

1:57

And that’s because medicine without integration can sometimes just be spiritual entertainment, like a little vacation holiday from your ego, from yourself.

But it’s not transformation.

This requires time and real effort.

Integration is like a bridge.

2:13

It’s how we can take the sacred and make it real so that every day of your life becomes the ceremony, not just when we’re sitting with the medicine.

So this is not the glamorous part we’re diving into today.

It’s not what we usually would post on Instagram.

2:29

This is actually the part where we do the messy, hard, confusing, wonderful, sometimes scary part of the transformational work.

So let’s start at the beginning.

What is actually integration?

The word integration comes from the Latin word integer, meaning whole, complete, untouched.

2:52

And in its oldest way of using it, it would mean restoration, renewal, bringing something back to wholeness.

Such a beautiful, beautiful word.

And the same root of this word gives us the word integrity, which is crucial here because integrity is actually integration in action.

3:14

I just want to repeat that integrity is integration in action.

It’s about bringing all the parts of us back together in integrity, back together to wholeness while removing through life.

It’s the alignment between what do you know, what you say, what you feel, what you do.

3:32

Because without integrity, spiritual experiences can become performance, a character fantasy, or just another story that you tell yourself about who you think you are now.

But with integrity, it becomes transformation, real, lasting, and body change.

3:49

And for me, integration is not just integrity in action.

Integration is the sacred language of transformation.

It’s where we become the shamans.

We become the alchemists.

When you’re putting your integration homework into action, you’re starting to alchemize the energy.

4:08

You’re starting to transform.

Because in ceremony, something can break open.

Your ordinary sense of self might crack, and the boundaries of who you thought you were.

The soul.

And you can meet ancestors, archetypes, your own soul, but they might be too big to hold at once.

4:27

You might be seeing truths about yourself that you’ve been avoiding for decades, or didn’t actually know even existed.

You might feel emotions you’ve been suppressing since childhood.

You might remember things your body had never forgot.

Or you might encounter intelligences or presence.

4:48

So these experiences, they just don’t fit neatly into your life.

They might rupture it.

It might shatter your operating system, and when you come back, you can’t just reboot and expect everything to work the same way.

Integration is that deliberate act of inviting that rupture home, of letting woes revealed find its place in your body, in your relationship, in your work, in your sleep.

5:11

It’s about learning to metabolize what was really big in divine into something that can be absorbed and digested by your system, by your body, by your life.

It’s about taking the infinite and making it intimate in your day-to-day life.

5:32

And that’s where a lot of people get confused.

Integration is actually not about fixing yourself, even though sometimes the homework and seem like we need to fix a lot of things.

And it’s not about taking what you learn in sermon and using it against yourself or trying to become a perfect version, a spiritual version.

5:51

And it’s also not about optimizing yourself to fit some ideal.

It’s not spirit hacking or a self improvement project.

I find it so sad when people are suddenly with this huge list of to do’s as if they follow all of these criterias, then then they would be complete.

6:10

Because this work and the work that me and you are doing, it’s more sacred than this.

It’s more ancient.

This medicine has been around for thousands of years, and your soul, God knows how old it is, how long it’s been around.

6:25

So I like to see this work is more profound because who you are is so much more than the stories that you’re telling yourself right now about what you should be or could be or want to be, or what your life should look like.

For me, integration starts with a very different premise.

6:43

When I start from the knowing that something in me and something in you is already whole, already sacred, already untouched, as from the original word of integer meaning whole, complete, untouched.

So free integration is about coming from a place within me, not moving towards a place.

7:06

It’s not going down a checklist or up towards the heaven.

It’s about coming from a place in you that feels whole.

And when you’re reading your life and your thoughts and your choices from that place, you might also feel that the outside in your life is starting to feel more whole, more sacred, more complete, more aligned with your inner self, more harmonious.

7:30

As the money psychologist in our Integration Facilitator program, he uses the analogy of the water because you are like water and water changes form rain, river, ocean, ice, mist, snow, but the essence remains.

It’s Stillwater.

7:46

The molecular structure doesn’t change just because the temperature or the pressure changes.

And the work here is also the same.

It’s not about trying to attach to a certain form or a certain structure.

It’s more about finding a way to live from wholeness, knowing that we will change form and intensity.

8:09

And our work is to clear what blocks this flow of the river inside, to remove the dams and the debris that keeps you from moving freely and naturally, and to allow new patterns to emerge from that essential wholeness.

Some people approach this work also as if they are incomplete beings who just need to import their wholeness from somewhere else.

8:30

Sort of blow up the dam that holds the water or blow up the rocks that blocks the river.

And still every blockage that I have, that you have, every pattern, it’s still sacred.

And it’s not about the right or wrong.

It’s about a deeper question.

What is this behavior or pattern or blockage costing me?

8:49

Is it costing me my joy, my dance, my creativity, my peace?

Then maybe it’s not the price you want to pay right now.

That’s OK, so you change it.

But whatever you are going to change, there is no change in the world that will not have a price.

9:05

There will always be a pagamentos of energy.

Your job is to find out what you want to pay for it with your life force energy, with your time, with your emotional energy and what you want in return.

I just remembered this incredible illustrator on Instagram and I once reached out to him and said, hey, could you do some illustrations for me?

9:23

And he said, no, I’m not willing to pay with my emotional intelligence and my emotional life force for someone else’s project.

I use all of that energy for my own projects.

And I just thought that was so beautiful.

9:39

That was so sacred.

What a beautiful spiritual, financial and emotional boundary.

He wanted to just use that energy for his own projects.

He knew what the payment was.

He didn’t want to pay the cost.

And many of us, when we come into ceremony, we might be leaking energy and we feel so good when we’re in the ceremony.

9:58

We’re in this safe space where we can be in equilibrium because we’re no longer leaking with guilt and shame and judgement and anxiety and chaos and anger and confusion.

We get brought back into our own integrity for a moment, back into the present moment.

We’re connecting with others, we’re hugging, and we stop leaking energy and start feeling our own wholeness that was always there.

10:21

And then we go back to our lives and we say, Ouch, This jobs feel painful.

I feel disconnected in my relationships and we’re starting to feel the wall of our new birth canal that we’re starting to move through the pressure around us, which is the contractions after our expansion.

10:40

Nobody tells you that after a very deep transformational ayahuasca retreat, you might feel very, very deep contractions after the expansion, and it’s normal.

This is the heartbeat of transformation that expands and contracts, and sometimes we think we have to push ourselves through the bird canal by ourselves to tell life, to tell the spirits, to tell our body.

11:03

No, no, no.

I need to do it in this certain way.

I need to be reborn right now between 3:00 and 4:00.

But transformation and rebirth is a natural process.

You’ve been doing this for billions of years.

And you did also not tell your mom when you wanted to be born.

11:22

You did not have to figure out when to get out.

It was just a natural process.

You don’t go to sleep at night trying to think yourself to sleep.

At least if I try to like, OK, I need to go to sleep, that’s when I get stressed out and I don’t sleep.

What do we do when we want to fall asleep?

11:38

We start relaxing.

We start letting go of this day, of this life, and it just goes by itself.

And suddenly we’re gone into dreamy, dreamy land.

So much of this process is just returning to these natural, relaxed rhythms, the heartbeat of transmission, to slow down and to welcome a more conscious relationship with ourself and our life.

12:05

Because if you start understanding yourself fundamentally as water, as a river, as rain, as a lake, as a mist, as an ocean, all are complete expressions of water.

No form of water is less than any other form of water.

12:21

What changes is just form and movement and temperature and pressure, but not the essence.

So that is such a beautiful thing to remind yourself of.

We are now in this form.

We are now in this pattern of your personality, of your life, of your daily rituals and habits and behaviors.

12:42

But your essence has never changed.

So the work from this view is also to stop treating life as a project of repair and start treating it as a project of self realization.

You’re not fixing yourself.

You’re just becoming a little bit more conscious about yourself.

13:00

You’re just realizing yourself a little bit more.

You’re just creating a little bit more space for water to flow.

You’re just removing some blockages.

You’re just listening to the forms that the water within you wants to take.

In our Sacred Integration Facilitation program, we run through four of the most foundational dimensions of integration.

13:22

I like to think of them as the four shamanic directions, like 4 lenses, 4 bodies that we all have the needs tending, the needs, our awareness, and it’s the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions.

Think of them as four directions on a compass.

13:40

North-south, East, West, each of them pointing to different territory of your being and each of them also asking something different of you.

But none of them work in isolation.

Even though we like to think sometimes that we can just stay in the mind and the mind can dictate the other dimensions.

13:59

But you can’t just integrate mentally and ignore the body, obviously.

And you can’t just integrate emotionally and then neglect your spiritual practice or pray and meditate while your nervous system is dysregulated and your thoughts are spiraling.

All four needs attention, awareness.

14:16

All four needs care.

All four needs to be brought together in harmony.

So let me guide you through these 4 dimensions and look at what each of them are actually asking from you right now.

The first one is the physical dimension.

14:33

And this is so much more than just your body.

It is the space you live, your life, your environments, your apartment, your house, the place you live, your connection to your mother, to the earth, to all the physical layers of your reality.

14:52

And the anchor of all of this lives in your body right now.

This is your first home on this earth, and every single cell within you, every single microbe within you is reacting to your surroundings.

And if you take 3 deep breaths right now, you’re instantly slowing down your heart, you’re relaxing your shoulders, you’re becoming more conscious of your body.

15:20

And if you eat junk food, you go to sleep late, you scroll your phone, your cells, your inner microbes, they might not recognize the environment as natural, so they might get sick and confused.

Many humans today live 23 hours within a building almost totally disconnected from the earth, from the outside world, from the natural world, which is the same time as inmates in high risk security prison.

15:50

I know because my biological mom was in prison once and her biggest sorrow was that she could only be outside and see the sun one hour a day.

And now we actually do that in average.

And obviously it’s very difficult to have integration, transformation, peace, health, joy without the body and without the relationship to earth.

16:14

That is also why our students in the integration community and facilitators, they go through a six week program first to create that foundation to connect to Earth every single day with daily guided meditations that are done outside, to actually learn to reconnect and cultivate this relationship with the Earth, with grounding and with their body.

16:36

It is absolutely foundational in all ways because even if we have all these visions in our ayahuasca ceremony, all the insights, all the mystical experiences, if it doesn’t land in your body, then it doesn’t land at all.

16:53

Physical integration is that foundation.

It’s like the ground floor for all the spiritual and transmissional work that you’re doing in this dimension.

It’s where everything get anchored.

And without it, your breakthroughs can feel very abstract and disconnected and fleeting.

17:09

Like you’re just trying to read through your journal afterwards and you’re wondering, what did I actually like?

I know this was profound in that moment, but I can’t connect to that feeling again.

So it’s like hovering in this realm of concept and memory, but they don’t actually change how you live.

And here’s what most people don’t understand.

17:27

But it doesn’t care about your insights or how smart your new intention or your life strategy sounds like.

It doesn’t speak the language of concept and ideas.

It speaks true sensation and movement and breath and rhythm and pleasure.

17:45

And what I love so much about the body is that it is so much more than what most of us ever have gotten to experience because we’re so disconnected from it.

Your body holds memories that your conscious mind doesn’t even have access to.

It holds emotions that you might have suppressed for decades.

18:04

It holds trauma that predates language.

It holds wisdom that comes from millions of years of evolution, wisdom that all of your ancestors worked so hard to gain.

And when you start integrating physically, you’re not just processing information.

18:21

You’re embodying that change that you’re looking for.

And this is where the earth becomes our primary teacher, always, in all ways, because ayahuasca is a plant medicine.

She comes from the jungle, from the soil, from the living roots and wines that has been growing for centuries.

18:41

Plants, they don’t forget that.

They don’t pretend to be separate from earth.

They are earth, and so are you.

And physical integration is about remembering that, about coming back into that relationship with your body as a part of the earth, not separate from it.

18:59

So what can this actually look like in practice when we’re integrating this dimension into our life?

Well, it might look like movement.

Not exercise, not working out, but movement as medicine, dancing, yoga, shaking, trembling.

19:17

Or just intuitively get on the floor and start to move.

Start to ask the body how do you want to move?

What do you want to move?

Where do you want to move?

Letting your body move the way it wants to move, not the way you think it should move.

Because after the ceremony there is energy in your body that needs to move.

19:37

I was so fortunate this week to have a breathwork session with Mario that could move the energy that wanted to move over three days with ayahuasca and finally the body knew exactly how to move it out.

Once I gave it an hour and I gave it the breath to move.

19:55

You also might have emotions that needs to be discharged, tension that needs to be released because if you try to sit and.

Think your way through it.

That energy gets stuck.

So many of the people I meet are trying to think their way through sexual energy, physical energy, spiritual energy that were never ever ever meant to be within the mind.

20:19

So if you move, you let your body express with this carrying and magic will happen.

It might also look like breath.

Just deep, conscious breathing, breathing with your belly, breathing the way that reaches all the way down into your pelvis and fills up your entire torso.

20:38

This is also why we offer weekly breath work sessions within our community, where the first breath work and integration circle is free, because breath work is instrumental to anchor and ground and move our energy.

And your breath is also the most direct way to regulate your nervous system when you’re anxious.

20:58

Your breath is shallow.

When you’re calm, your breath is deep.

But it works both ways.

You can change your state by changing your breath.

The ruler of your mind is your breath, not the other way around.

It might also look like touch.

21:13

Massage is my favorite body work.

Acupuncture, self stimulation, or simply putting your own hands or your body with presence and care.

So many of us are so dissociated from our bodies and we live in our heads.

21:29

And most of the people I meet, they are 2324 hours in their head, even when they’re sleeping in their head trying to work through whatever strategy or To Do List that they feel is critical for them right now.

21:46

Physical integration is about bringing ourselves back into the being, back into the body, back into the part of us that doesn’t need to think about life, that is actually living life.

It can also look like rest.

Real rest.

22:01

Not scrolling your phone, not Netflix, but actual deep restorative rest.

Like lay down in your bed and just rest.

No agenda, no meditation, no strategy.

It might be sleeping, napping, lying on the ground and just letting our nervous system settle.

22:23

One of the most interesting thing that I recognized when I did a 28 day water fast was how much rest we all needed.

Everyone that came there, we were actually just so exhausted.

Our nervous system had been running in different areas of the world, in different jobs in different ways, but we were all just exhausted and we just needed to rest.

22:48

And after the ceremony that I did last week, I rested for a whole week.

And I know it’s unheard of in this world that someone can just rest for a week and not work.

But I know that the most crucial part of integration for me comes from sleep.

23:04

Without sleep, there’s no integration.

Without rest, there is no integration.

So I don’t put anything else on my menu before I feel fully rested.

And then it can look like what you eat.

And yes, I know everyone has opinions about the dieta with ayahuasca or what you should eat or could eat.

23:25

But after a ceremony, you’ve been cleaning so much and you need clean water and you need clean foods.

And the traditional dieta, it’s not really about the purity of perfection.

It’s more about the sensitivity because after the ceremony, you’re more sensitive.

23:42

Your energy body is more open.

So heavy food, processed foods, alcohol, drugs, they will hit you so hard and they will cloud your clarity and they will interrupt your integration.

And it might also look like your space where you live right now.

23:58

How do you arrange it?

Does it feel safe, sacred.

Because your environment is an extension of your body.

If your space is chaotic, your integration might feel that way too.

If your space is cluttered with the breeze of the old version of yourself, then maybe you can’t step fully into the new version.

24:17

But this doesn’t mean that you need a perfect house or anything like that.

It means that you need to take care of your space the way you take care of your body.

Think of your home as your altar, and your day around this altar as your ceremony.

Clean it.

Clear it.

Make it a space where you want to sing and dance and celebrate life.

24:36

Make it a place where your new self wants to live.

Physical integration might be slow and repetitive.

It’s all about becoming rooted as a tree in your rhythms that are healthy and natural.

And for me, it’s about creating a more conscious relationship to the physical dimension in my life, to my body and to my nature.

24:57

And my invitation here is not to make a checklist.

Now I have to clean my home and I have to be outside more.

I have to breathe more.

It’s about just making a tiny bit more conscious relationship to your body without any judgement, without the need to think or to strategize, Just to be a tiny bit conscious.

25:13

For example, when you eat, maybe a thought comes and it says, wow, this food is going to become a part of me.

What an intimate relationship that is.

This dinner is going to become myself.

Just inviting a tiny bit more consciousness without adding anything unnatural.

25:33

And remember, for many of us, we think that integration is about adding more stuff to our list.

And instead I like to focus if there’s one habit or pattern that is toxic to me, an addiction or something that I know is not good for me, I find it so much easier and better to focus on removing one bad habit or pattern than trying to add 50 new ones that are healthier and good.

25:59

So look at what you can reduce.

Declutter what you can remove of chaos or toxins just to create more space for all the delicious healthy stuff.

And if you have time and space in your day, maybe you want to say thank you to your body.

26:18

Maybe you want to say thank you to the Earth, to kneel for Pachamama for planet Earth and offer her a song or a gift.

And just to bring some conscious energy into that space of gratitude and appreciation for your Earth body and for your Earth mother, and just see how this relationship can also deepen and become more conscious and more fulfilling.

26:42

The second dimension is the emotional dimension.

This is where we go straight into the water.

Emotions are the great river within.

And if there’s one thing ayahuasca does, it is opening up the floodgates.

You cry, you rage, you laugh until your belly hurts, you grieve the losses you didn’t even know you were caring.

27:05

Oh Lord.

You feel things you’ve been avoiding for years, maybe lifetimes.

You touch the depth of sorry you didn’t even existed.

You access the wells of joy that makes everything else feel flat by comparison.

The medicine doesn’t just show you things, it makes you feel them alive fully, literally, without the usual defenses and numbing strategies that we use to protect ourselves.

27:32

And that can also be terrifying because most of us have spent our entire lives learning how not to feel.

Some of us are so sensitive.

We taught ourselves to turn off emotion on and off.

OK, feeling unsafe now, turning off emotions.

We learn how to push down our emotions, have to lock them away, how to eat some ice cream to keep them under control.

27:54

We built personalities around not feeling certain things.

And then you drink ayahuasca and it all comes pouring out the damn breaks.

For a few hours, you might be completely overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of what’s been stored in your body.

And then the ceremony ends and you think, OK, I felt it, I released it, I purged it.

28:15

It’s done.

I’m healed now and it’s not done.

That is not how emotional work works.

Emotional integration is the process of staying with what came up, not just in the ceremony, but in the days and weeks and months and sometimes years after.

28:33

It’s acknowledging what you felt, processing it, creating more space, letting it move all the way through instead of getting stuck halfway.

Because what happens when we don’t integrate emotionally?

Those feelings get suppressed again and they go back underground and they calcify, or they turn into patterns and triggers and reactivity and defense mechanism and they shape relationships and health and choices.

28:59

So you can purge in the ceremony and then go right back at the same emotional patterns you have always had.

And this is completely normal.

People have this huge emotional release and then a month later they’re right back when they started because they didn’t do the work of integration.

So emotional integration is about feeling it fully and also providing tools and integration to keep feeling it and releasing it.

29:21

So not fixing and bypassing.

It’s just about feeling it with presence and with the understanding that emotions are not problems to be solved, but sacred movements, a sacred river to be honored.

I love that, Esteban.

29:37

He says that our tears, when we cry, it might be a sacred river that has been waiting to be released since we were five years old or two years old.

So when we have access to it and we let it go, it’s truly a sacred purge, a sacred moment.

29:53

But that means when grief comes, you grief, you don’t try to think you’re way out of it or meditate it away or convince yourself it shouldn’t be there.

Over the last three days in ceremony, I asked one of the psychologists, when am I’m going to be done crying over my best friend who was to go to die when I was 5 because I’m still at Hitch 40, crying the way that I lost him.

30:19

And she said, we don’t know.

You know, our sadness can be like a big bottle of tears.

And we come here, we release a bit from that bottle and a bit more and a bit more.

And eventually there is space again.

30:36

And it’s not under pressure that forms into anger or sadness or grief or depression.

And I’d have to be honest, this is not easy work, at least for me, releasing the grief and the sadness.

30:51

It’s really, really, really difficult sometimes.

But it’s instrumental that we keep doing that work and keep honoring those emotions as we come out of ceremony.

If not, we’re going to get bottled up again and we’re going to keep carrying a lot of emotional, dense, emotional material that is going to not only make us unhealthy and unhappy, but also not give us space to feel and to be filled up by life as it’s happening.

31:25

Because we’re so bottled up with all of the stuff that we’re holding on to.

And this is also where community becomes essential to us.

I’m so lucky.

I have a ayahuasca integration community around me.

I’m leading it.

I’m a part of it.

I have ayahuasca retreats that I facilitate, so I get to be a part of this community.

31:44

I get to be held as well as hold space for others.

Because sometimes the emotions are way too big to just feel them by yourself.

Like rage and terror and grief.

You need witnesses, and you need people who can hold space for you without collapsing, without trying to fix you, without trying to make you follow some type of spiritual agenda or five lists that plan bullshit.

32:12

People who can sit with you in your pain and not be destroyed by IT.

People who can just hold up a mirror and say what you’re feeling is real, it’s valid, it’s human.

And most of us, we didn’t grow up that way.

So we tried to stop ourselves from crying.

We tried to calm ourselves down.

32:28

We try not to be too sensitive, to get over it.

We learned that our emotions were too much, too big, too inconvenient.

So we learned to handle our emotions by ourselves.

Some of us started running or physical activities.

Some of us started eating ice cream, Netflix.

32:44

Whatever behavior we had, whatever behavior we had, they became the pattern that we carried into adulthood.

An emotional integration asks you to start releasing those patterns, to develop a greater capacity to be with the discomfort, so that you can tolerate a full range of the human experience.

33:05

Not just anxiety or the frustration, but also the love and the bliss and the happiness and the orgasm.

To let yourself be, to meet yourself in all of it.

And the paradox of that is that the more you allow yourself to feel, the less you’re going to be controlled by your emotions.

33:23

What I learned the hard way was that if I don’t get in touch with my emotions, they will find a way to get in touch with me.

So if you resist the emotions, they will come.

They will find you in the form of nightmares or addictions or pain, physical and mental illnesses, psychosomatic responses and pain in your body, chronic diseases.

33:45

They will bubble to the surface in whatever shape or form that makes you start paying attention to them so that they can be released.

When you stop resisting them, they stop running your life, and when you stop trying to get rid of them, they start moving through you naturally.

34:02

They arise, they peak, they pass, just like weather.

Now I hope that when I started ayahuasca, the emotion wouldn’t hit me that hard because I feel a lot.

I feel so much.

Unfortunately, we don’t lose our emotions when we drink ayahuasca.

We don’t get to transcend our humanity.

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Actually, I will say that we will feel more with ayahuasca.

We will be more sensitive and we become someone who can feel deeply but also act with clarity, who can be heartbroken and still show up to life, who can be angry and still choose to love, who can be afraid and still move forward.

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So we who are on this pause for becoming someone who have more access to this full spectrum of being human and also have the space to experience the depth of the human and spiritual experience without being hijacked by any of it.

Without sacrificing ourselves or numbing ourselves because we’re scared of feeling certain emotions.

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When there is no emotions within you, you are scared of feeling.

You are liberated.

You’re free to do whatever you want in this entire world.

Every single time I have someone in my coaching integration chair in front of me and there’s some big blockage and fear, there is always an emotion that they’re scared of feeling.

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There’s always something there.

When you dare to feel all of you, you’re free.

You’re free to move like the river.

So that’s the emotional integration and it’s the emotional sovereignty that we get to tap into.

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And it requires a lot of practice, not just the moments of crisis and ceremony, but also in ordinary moments like right now.

What are you feeling when someone cuts you off in traffic?

When someone looks at you a little bit strange from the street or smiles at you and flirts with you?

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What do you feel when your partner suddenly says something that triggers you?

Can you feel it without making it mean anything about you?

Can you let it move through you without acting it out?

Can you honour it without being consumed by it?

Can you just let the river flow by?

My invitation here is just to be a little bit more conscious.

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When the next emotion come, welcome it, say hello pain, hello fear, hello happiness.

I’m listening, I’m with you, and just also tiny bit conscious without judging it.

Let it flow with you and just see what beautiful medicine and message it might have for you.

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Have you ever said thank you to your emotions before?

To your anger, to your sadness, to your grief, to your deeply, deeply feeling heart?

Maybe try to say thank you to the emotion next time it comes by, because your emotions proves that you are still an intact human connected to your heart, to your body.

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So well done you.

It is brave to feel in the world with so much pain, to stay open, to feel and to be alive.

Maybe it’s the most courageous act we can do as human beings to still feel.

So I’m proud of you.

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The third dimension is the mental dimension.

And Oh my God, in the medicine world, the mind gets a bad rap.

It’s the villain of the story, it’s the demon, it’s the overthinking saboteur, the doubter, the controller.

It’s the part of you they want to go.

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They want surrender that won’t shut up during ceremony, keeps talking about what he wants for dinner.

You probably heard some version of this that is like get out of your head, stop thinking the mind is enemy of presence.

And sure, there’s truth to all of it.

Over the overthinking mind, the analyzing mind.

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We all got it, and it can really block the medicine from doing its work.

But the mind itself is not the problem.

The mind is sacred.

The mind is a gift.

The mind is one of the most powerful tools you got.

It is literally the bridge between the spirit and form, an instrument of meaning.

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It’s a little meaning maker.

He likes to make everything into some type of meaning, and it’s the compass of interpretation.

It’s what takes your raw experiences and turns it into understanding.

It creates your narratives, your structures, your coherence.

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And when the mind is in harmony with your breath and your body and your soul, when it’s aligned with your deeper truth, it becomes the greatest ally in this work and in your life.

The problem isn’t the mind.

The problem is our relationship with the mind.

Because it might be very unconscious.

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Most of us are not also in relationship with our minds at all.

We are identified with them.

We think we are our thoughts, we believe every story in the mind tells us, and we are trapped inside our own mental projections and dupes with no awareness that’s anything beyond them.

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Or we are at war with our minds.

We’re trying to shut up the mind, be quiet, shut it down, transcended, bypass it, add a mantra on top of all of our negativity, hoping that it will go away.

So we treat the mind like an enemy that needs to be defeated.

And I have not found any of those approaches to work.

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I tried both of them many times.

Mental integration is about entering into the right relationship with the mind.

It’s about befriending it and tending to it and training it with love and discipline.

It’s a muscle, and it also needs to be trained, so learning to work with it instead of against it.

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It’s about becoming aware that you’re not your thoughts or your patterns.

You’re the awareness that is witnessing it, and you’re the space in which thoughts arises and passes away.

When you realize this, you start creating a tiny bit of space for a choice.

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You can start observing a thought without believing or engaging in it, and you can start noticing mental patterns without being completely controlled or consumed by it.

You can hear the voice of fear or doubt or judgment and choose to listen to it, to entertain it, or to just let it pass by.

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And after ceremony, your mind is going to try to make sense of what happened because this was probably one of the most shocking occurrences for your mind ever.

And this was more traumatizing than binging 16 hours of TV.

It was a lot of stuff going on where your mind had no clue what is going on.

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So it’s trying to sort through the experience.

Poor mind, categorizing it, building narratives around it, updating the ego, creating a spiritual ego.

And it’s not a bad thing.

It’s what your mind is supposed to do.

That’s what means you have an ego that is functioning.

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It’s the mind’s function.

The question becomes more, what stories are we now choosing to tell yourself about your experience and how are you going to be relating to your mind afterwards?

Because mental integration is about seeing the movements and the patterns of your mind and learning to create a more conscious and spacious relationship with it, so that the mind and your body and your emotions are moving in the same direction, not against you or in different directions.

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Like 4 different wild horses running in different directions.

And it’s about creating that spaciousness within your mind so that there’s enough room for a paradox and mystery and uncertainty, enough room to hold multiple truths at once without collapsing into confusion or grasping for a certainty.

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So mental integration is the practice of discernment, of learning to distinguish between the voices of fear, the voices of truth, and between conditioning and clarity, between ego and essence.

And something really simple that you can do right now to help connect your emotional dimension and your mental dimension is simply putting your left hand on your heart and your right hand on top of your head and then try to connect your mind and your heart together.

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When you have heart mind or heart brain coherence, you are letting 2 powerful dimension align their energy so that they can work for you, with you and also create more space within you, more attunement.

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These are one of the practices that we teach within our integration facilitation program to keep stepping back into the heart and mind coherence so that they are deeply connected.

If you’re confused or stressed out, try to connect the head and the heart and just see what happens instantly with the energy and your energy field and your body.

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Because when the mind is clear, it starts reflecting truth like a ponder reflects the sky.

When it’s spacious, it allows in science to arise without grasping.

And when it’s disciplined with love, not force, not domination, but loving discipline, it serves your deepest being.

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This is the dimension where thought becomes prayer, where your inner voice becomes a sacred guide, and where the mind stops being an obstacle and becomes an instrument of awakening and also service of structure for you and for others.

So the invitation here is just to create a little bit more of a conscious relationship with your mind.

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Not to judge it for the mind doing the mind thing, not to shame it for doing exactly what the mind was created to do, and not to try to jump into no mind or enlightenment, just to honour it.

Just maybe say thank you mind, thank you for doing your mind business, thank you, thank you, and just see when you’re being grateful for your mind, how that relationship can become more conscious and how it develops.

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The last dimension is the spiritual dimension.

This is where integration becomes something so much more than just psychology and why many of us struggle to have integration support after an ayahuasca retreat.

Over 30% who were atheists who didn’t believe in anything at all, God’s spirits, they saw themselves as spiritual after drinking ayahuasca.

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And imagine that you cannot go back suddenly to a psychologist and share about your experience because now you have such a spiritual experience that you actually have to experience for yourself to even understand or grasp what you’re talking about.

So This is why the spiritual integration is so important.

This is where we are touching something that is so much more than self improvement, so much more than healing trauma or releasing stuck emotions.

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This is where we get to work and to be with the unseen, with the mystery, with the soul.

We’re no longer reading a book about God or angels or divine.

We get to experience it.

We get to talk to the divine, to experience the divine ourself.

Because in ceremony we don’t just meet the trauma or process the emotions.

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We get to meet beings.

We get to meet ancestors.

We get to meet plant spirits.

Grandmother Aybasca herself.

We’re the spirits of other medicines, tobacco, sananga, repair.

We get to feel their personalities.

We get to receive their teachings and those presences and those experiences.

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They don’t just disappear when you come back.

They’re still here, they’re still present, they’re still available, they’re still working with you and true you.

They’re still here to guide you and teach you.

So spiritual integration for me is about maintaining that relationship with what you have encountered.

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It’s about treating ceremony not as a one time event, but as the beginning of a ongoing dialogue with the sacred.

And one of those dialogues can start with a simple question like what is already hold within me and how can I let that part in foreign, the parts of me they’re still reorganizing after ayahuasca, That question can take you so much more further that dialogue than what’s wrong with me and how do I fix myself?

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Because when you start from that sacredness, that wholeness, when you start to trust in your essential nature, the essence of your waterfall, then the world becomes more gentler and more sustainable.

And all of the dialogue that we can do, it happens through practice, especially in a spiritual integration.

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It happens through a ritual, through ceremony in a more broader sense.

So this is not something that you should do just alone in your hand where you can just think about the spirits and think about one of these experiences and think that’s the relationship.

You need to try to bring it into an embodied practice with some form of structure.

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Maybe you can build an altar for your ancestors, or maybe an altar for yourself or for ayahuasca, a physical space in your home where you feel you can keep some sacred objects.

Maybe there’s a grandmother that passed that you absolutely love and adore, and you want to create a little sacred altar for that relationship and for that spirit.

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Maybe you can have photos of your ancestors, or offerings to the plants, or representations of things that you want to work with.

Maybe your intention.

Maybe there are things you want to call into your life, like a partner calling in a new job, calling in something you want to see manifested.

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That’s something you can put in your altar, something that you can sit with and listen to and honor and pray with.

Or maybe it’s morning prayer.

I cannot underestimate how important prayer is.

If you ever want to do spiritual integration, there has to be prayer, not prayer in.

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I’m sitting there kneeled over my bed, praying to someone who might judge me.

Prayer asks.

This is the deepest whispers of my heart.

If my heart had lips and it wanted to speak into this world, if my soul could sing, what would it be?

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Singing into my realm, into my life.

Prayer is instrumental.

So not praying as begging or pleading, but prayer as a conversation, as a dialogue.

I’m speaking to divine.

I’m speaking to my ancestors.

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I do this all the time and I feel it is sort of my secret soul strategy.

It is the most instrumental part of my being is prayer.

I pray all the time and it’s so important for me to have that relationship, to have that dialogue, to say thank you.

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Thank you for everything that has arrived, that has landed.

And I’m praying for support in opening up my troll chakra.

I’m praying for support in bringing more of my songs into this reality.

I’m praying for support of completing my book as I go home to Norway now.

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And so on and so on.

But it can also be offerings.

Maybe you are leaving some tobacco for your ancestors, you’re pouring some water into the earth consciously, you’re burning some sage or herbs, you’re sharing some food with the spirits, or maybe you are sharing a song.

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And spiritual integration can also be working in and with your dreams.

Dreams are instrumental as well.

And a lot of spirits, they will prefer to speak to us when we’re dreaming because we’re less resistant.

They might send symbols, messages, guidance, and also they might take us into other realms to teach us different things.

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It’s something that some of us call dream school, where they invite you to a class and it is like being away four years.

We can just learn so much more in that spiritual dream state realm because you can be taken completely out of your body.

My greatest suggestion here is always write down whatever you remember of your dream to start creating a conscious relationship with your unconscious so that your unconscious understand your listening.

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You’re paying attention because then your unconscious can also start sending more messages because it knows that you’re actually paying attention to what it’s trying to say.

So that you can also Start learning the land, which of your unconscious and how it speaks through dreams.

In the beginning, it might be strange like the visuals that you see during ayahuasca and you’re like, what does it mean?

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What does it mean?

But over time, as you develop that relationship, that relationship will have its own language that you start understanding, a soul language that your heart recognizes, and then you will understand so much more on a deeper level about yourself and this reality that you’re a part of.

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And spiritual integration can also be ceremony, not just ayahuasca, but it can be sitting in silence, working in nature and tension, singing, dancing, fasting, sweating, anything that creates a container for you to connect with the sacred being in nature a whole day.

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The point is that you don’t need to just remember the medicine.

You need to look at ways of living the medicine, letting this revelation that you have had become a rhythm in your life so that you’re weaving the sacred into the fabric of your day-to-day life.

Like, for example, today, how can you read the sacredness into your day-to-day?

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What is something you can put in your plate when you’re eating that reminds you of the sacredness of your life?

What is something that you can take with you when you’re going to sleep that reminds you of the sacredness?

Spiritual integration is also where the mystery becomes very practical.

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And I like to think of this as bringing our most alive, most authentic, most aligned part into our daily expression, learning how to receive and express everything you truly are in direct connection with the divine.

And again, this work is relational.

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So you’re doing this in relationship with so many beautiful forces.

You’re not alone.

You’re with ancestors, you’re with plant spirits and guides, you’re with angels, you’re with the divine, you’re with the Great Spirit.

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So walk on this path of spiritual integration as if there are so many guiding you, holding you and leading the way.

And this is where integrity also comes in again, because the spirits that are with you, they were watching and they’re not judgy or punishing, at least not ayahuasca and the spirit guides that I have encountered.

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But they are paying attention to whatever you are living, what you learned, or just consuming new experiences.

So ask yourself, are you integrating the medicine or just collecting experiences?

Are you in the right relationship with the forces you encountered, with the spirits, with your ancestors?

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Or you’re trying to use them for your agenda or for, you know, a cool post on Instagram.

Because spiritual integration is also where shadow work becomes very essential.

The spiritual path is not just about light and love and bliss.

You also have to face some darkness and the parts of yourself you rejected and the impulses you have suppressed.

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The rage or the greed or the fake humility or the envy or the cruelty.

The medicine will show you those parts not to shame you, but for you to help integrate them, to bring them into a conscious relationship as well, so that you’re not controlled by or from the shadows.

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So you can’t just bypass the shadow with spiritual practices.

You can’t just meditate or play your way past it.

You have to turn toward it.

You have to meet it.

And you have to have compassion for the parts of yourself that you’ve judged us, unspiritual or not, worthy or too angry or too sad for the sacred Serb in A room, because those parts are so you, and they are also part of your wholeness.

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If I could wish one thing for you when it comes to spiritual integration, it would be to always have an open dialogue with the divine.

To always know that you can have this dialogue with the greatest, greatest spirit that has ever existed with your ancestors or with your favorite soul, favorite symbol of a soul.

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To know that when you’re walking around in your day-to-day life and maybe you’re discussing things with yourself or you or talking to yourself.

To know that you can open up a room, a ceremony room inside your mind and start praying and start connecting and start having that divine sacred dialogue in your mind.

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Nothing will clean up that those brain cells and those old singing patterns than bringing more of that devoted prayer into your mind.

Start your day with prayer.

Complete your day with prayer in the morning.

Pray for how your day should look like.

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What do you want to call in in the evening?

Prayer for me as an instrumental tool to do this work and to cultivate that relationship with the Divine.

The stronger that relationship is to the soul, to the Great Spirit, the stronger that relationship also is to you.

And this is where integration also becomes devotion.

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It’s where the soul starts landing and starts finding a room in your home, in your house.

And it’s where the work can become worship, where your life becomes ceremony every single day.

And maybe you can bring a tiny bit more consciousness into your spirit, into your spiritual integration.

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Maybe you can bring a tiny bit of connection to your ancestors daily just to say, hey, I’m just going to sit down for one minute and listen to the spirit, listen to my ancestors and see what arises.

And maybe within the space you can say thank you, thank you, spirit, thank you, divine, thank you, ancestors, thank you, soul, just thank you.

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And that was the four dimensions of integration, my friend.

And we actually dive into these over six months in the Sacred Integration Facilitator program that is starting May 20th.

And these four directions, The best tip that I can give anyone is just to try to become more conscious of them, just to see where are you putting the most energy?

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Are you too much in the mind dimension and neglecting the spiritual or the mental and emotional part?

Don’t judge, don’t change, don’t fix it.

Just invite a bit of more consciousness, more space, A tiny bit more curiosity, as if it’s all perfect.

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And then just see how these elements and dimensions can coexist and create magic by itself, how they align by themselves when they work together as one whole unified being and not as separate dimensions going in different directions.

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This work is so magical, and the magic and the mystery will happen all the time when you start bringing your presence back into it.

And also when you know that all your guides, all these dimensions that you have touched, when you work with ayahuasca, they are available to you in different forms, in different intensities, in different shapes of water every single day.

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Welcome to the work, welcome to the pass, and welcome to the process of integration.

That is all I had for you this week, my friend.

I’m starting from April 8th.

We are inviting you to come and join the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and have a breath work session with us Live and Integration Circle.

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The 1st Circle and Breath Work session is always for free and if you would like to join us within a monthly membership, we will be working with different themes of integration and transformation every single month.

May 20th we are opening the next cohort of the Sacred Integration Facilitator training.

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Last year we had a beautiful group joining us for six months where we traveled through the different dimensions of integration and also learned how to see ourselves in 12 different mirrors.

Our shadow, our strength, our presence, our gifts, all the different mirrors that we normally don’t see or ignore.

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You will also learn in this program to hold up the mirror for other people working with medicine, integration or therapy or coaching so that they can see themselves and the full wholeness of themselves.

This program completes with the Celebration Circle ritual where over 20 people will celebrate you and your light and your gifts and your impact so that you can fully see the light and the power that you bring into the room and into your life.

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And maybe for the first time ever, own that power and own that light so they can be used for your service and your path going forward.

If you want any more information, please go to dailybox.com, sign up to my e-mail list and I will be sending you weekly information about our offerings from the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and also from future retreats.

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Have a beautiful day my friend and take care.