Most people don’t fail at transformation. They stall at expression.

In this episode, we go straight to where integration becomes real: your gifts. Not your skills or credentials. Your natural way of being—what moves through you when you stop performing. We look at why sharing your gift often feels threatening, how fear protects it by delaying it, and how the “golden shadow” forms when your essence gets wrapped in strategy.

You’ll hear the classic traps that keep talented people stuck preparing forever: “once I have more time,” “once I’m healed,” “one more certification,” “I need a total reset.” We also name the deeper layer—old agreements, unspoken promises, and the quiet deals you made to belong.

In this episode, we explore:

• What a gift actually is, and why it’s not the same as a skill
• The golden shadow: the gift under constraint, the gift under protection
• Fear that sounds spiritual—false humility, waiting to be ready, endless preparation
• The “not yet” strategy and why it keeps you stuck
• Why gifts and wounds travel together (same source, different expression)
• Stillness as a prerequisite for hearing your real signal
• Small honest actions that restore your voice

CONNECT WITH DAVID:

If you feel called to go deeper into this work, I offer three journeys:

1. The Integration Circle

A six-month container for people walking the Ayahuasca path — real healing, real mirrors.

2. The Celebration Circle

Six months of learning to inhabit your life instead of chasing it. Celebration isn’t the reward, it’s the rehearsal.

3. Sacred Impact

A six-month journey for transformational leaders who need their service, gifts, and vision brought into form, structure, and integrity.

Learn more or book a consult at https://www.davidvox.com/

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Ayahuasca Integration Resources:

ayahuascaintegration.org📸

Instagram: @davidvox📘

Facebook: Ayahuasca Integration Alliance📺

YouTube: @Ayahuasca-Integration

ayahuasca integration, integration after ayahuasca, psychedelic integration, post ceremony integration, ayahuasca ceremony integration, plant medicine integration, spiritual bypassing, shadow work after ayahuasca, integration practices, psychedelic aftercare, spiritual ego, integration coach, healing integration, transformational work, ceremony integration

TRANSCRIPT:

0:00

I am so excited because this week I get to share with you my specialty and my favorite thing to talk about on integration journey, which is our gifts.

And I have had such a interesting journey, challenging journey in regards to accepting my gifts and expressing my gifts.

0:23

So it’s been come like a speciality over the last 10 plus years in my integration and coaching and plant medicine work to help people really recognize their gifts and express their gifts.

So I’m really excited to dive in with you.

First, a little clip.

The water does not drink herself, the sun doesn’t shine for himself.

0:49

The flower when she’s opening her fragrances is not for her to smell it, so it’s very good for you to be happy.

But.

It’s much better when you do something for someone to be happy through your actions because we are all connected.

1:17

Could you imagine if every day the earth will come and charge us a fee because we are stepping on top of her?

This tell us that the greatest force is the love.

Wise word from our indigenous elders.

1:33

There’s this beautiful quote that I read in the artist way that said your talent is God’s gift to you, but what you do with it is your gift back to God.

And it’s been attributed to Leo Buscaliga.

1:50

I can’t even pronounce that.

So our gifts, they are life’s gift to us.

Our art, our service, our expression, our energy, that’s our gift back to life.

And receiving and giving is a similar one motion where we let our essence move freely and let the divine get to meet itself through us.

2:12

And many of us, we get caught in the concept that we want to measure our gift on a scale or we want to be able to measure the size or the heaviness or the value.

And our gifts are a bit different because in my relationship to my own gifts and the people that I meet on my journey is that my gifts are a natural expression of my true energy, of my divine energy, of my essence energy.

2:40

Going back to last week’s session when I shared that every single part, every single individual that lives in this world both in animal form and in human form, we are like 1 little unique puzzle piece in this divine puzzle.

2:57

And if you take one piece, puzzle piece out of this divine cosmic cabaret, then I believe that’s powerful enough to destroy every single part of the universe because they are interconnected.

We’ve even seen that if you cut a neutron, a neuron in two, or if you separate them, even if one is on the other side of the universe, they still mirror each other.

3:22

They’re still connected through some cosmic brilliant energy.

So in my, in my reality, what I’ve seen is that every single person, they are this like unique imprint of the divine energy.

It’s a unique snowflake and their energy is a part of this complete, unique tone, a cosmic cabaret, divine imprint.

3:47

And if we take one out and separate it and say this is not good enough, we’re also separating a part of the whole.

Our gift is not really something that I think we can learn.

I think it’s something that we find when we stop performing.

It’s a flow and a current that just flows through US effortlessly when our guards are down.

4:07

And it’s usually a state where time just dissolves.

And I believe strongly that every single gift that we have, it carries the medicine first for myself, first for yourself, and then also for other people.

It gets to be that flower that others can enjoy as well.

4:25

And it’s something that we get to live from, not something that we are really achieving.

It’s something that we are really remembering.

And I feel that our gifts are how the Divine moves.

True.

It’s our soul in my simple perception is I’m here to receive my soul, to be a vessel for my soul, and I’m here to express my soul.

4:47

And all that blocks me from receiving and expressing is my homework.

It’s my integration homework as well as receiving, expressing myself because this is the way that the Divine gets to manifest through me.

Then when we start working with gifts, something that shows up very quickly is the ego and what I call the golden shadow.

5:08

So the golden shadow is almost like a shell that forms around our gifts.

Maybe we’ve been shamed, ridiculed, rejected, made feel unsafe.

Maybe you have a moment where you remember being small and you were expressing your vulnerable truth and it was not received, it was not accepted.

5:26

And we Start learning to retreat our own truth.

We start to retreat our own energy field.

We start to retreat our own integrity, to turn ourselves into the mold that fits into society.

So we have our unique puzzle piece, unique divine puzzle piece energy that we come with.

5:43

And then we start fixing that on the outside so that it fits into the society.

This culture that we’re part of, the religion that we’re part of, the family system, we’re part of, the school system that were part of the job that we’re part of.

And eventually a puzzle piece looks a little bit strange, maybe, and it’s not exactly aligned with how our natural energy flow.

6:06

So the golden shadow is just here to protect us, because it says that I need to protect you from being fully alive and radiant and honest and truthful and wild and marvelous and fully present.

6:22

So, for example, the truth speaker learns sarcasm or maybe humor.

The empath becomes a rescuer.

The artist hides behind their affectionism and never gets to do any art because it’s never good enough.

The visionary becomes a critic or very analytical.

6:39

So the golden shadow is not like the opposite of the gift.

It’s the gift under constraint.

It’s the gift under the resistance.

It’s the gift under the spell of the game that says not today, we need to do this and this and this.

And when you’re finished with the certification, then you can start talking to people about integration, all of that stuff.

6:57

So it keeps you looping in preparation and comparison and control all in the service of safety.

For me, the gift or the gifts, because we’re all gifted, the gift is really like the essence, the truest vibration.

7:13

So when I’m in my truest vibration, my gifts just come effortlessly.

I don’t even have to control it.

I don’t even have to try because it just flows through.

I don’t even know where it comes from.

And the golden shadow is essence wrapped into strategy.

7:28

OK, I know there’s the gift.

I know there’s this energy of how do I use it?

How do I value it?

How can I make money on it?

And when do I feel ready?

And they’re actually made of the same light.

Everything comes from the same source.

But one part of this is free and one is guarded, 1 is expensive, and one is contract.

7:45

And a lot of people I meet, they’ve been living in this contraction for a long time.

And then the gift is I need to come out, I need to express myself.

I kind of deal with this a bit longer.

So when you start confronting the golden shadow, the fear, the self protection, the addiction to readiness, then you start also seeing a lot of these different games that were played to keep yourself busy and distracted from our gift.

8:09

But you also start to throw the shadow that you’re not trying to destroy it, you’re not trying to fight it, you’re just thanking it for serving you and keeping the purest, most truest vibration, your truest possible peace within you, keeping it alive and sacred.

8:29

And that’s when you start to reteach your body that it’s safe to let this current, this flow, this natural energy just move through you again.

And for me, this is where we really get to meet real integration.

When we take a moment and stop and pause and we’re no longer just healing and transforming and expanding and processing where we’re starting to createspace for our gifts to be expressed where wound is not just becomes wisdom, but the fans starts to relax back into devotion.

9:00

We’re actually taking action.

We’re actually walking in our step in our truest alignment and integrity.

But there are a lot of traps here and I get to see these traps every single day by work and I love them.

I love how the ego is so creative.

It still ends up playing the same games over and over again.

9:18

So there are some very classical integration traps that I see when people are starting and wanting to express their gifts because the ego doesn’t resist by saying no.

It just says not yet.

Or you remember the thing in the past that I still feel guilty for, like it always the compromises.

9:34

Is there something in the past that we can pay attention to or something in the future?

Let’s just avoid a now.

And if we’re going to be in a now, maybe we should look at the phone and look at different clips.

So we’re distracted.

And the most common traps that keeps the gift waiting inside of us is the ones I have trapped.

9:52

And a lot of these games are very similar to the integration games that we play that you can see in the last session.

But I’m going to go even deeper into these because when I work with clients, we get to a point where I start confronting all of the ego games and the cycle stirring.

And they will write in their journal, I hate David, every single client that goes through a phase where we start disarmouring the ego and we start cultivating the gift.

10:16

And that’s when usually the ego starts freaking out and projecting and getting a little bit annoyed, which is completely normal.

So if you get a bit triggered, good for you.

That’s your medicine today.

So the ones I have trap, once I have more time, once I have more money, once I have a better body or partner, a clear plan, if I have full clarity.

10:37

I had this clarity trap for a decade and it was feeling like suffocating myself.

And then one of the coaches said a quote from someone, I think it’s David Campbell, who says if you can see the pop, you’re someone else’s pop.

Like when you’re on your truth paths, the path just appears a step by step.

10:55

It’s a trust.

It’s a surrender.

So in this trap, we are never ready.

And this trap really hides the belief that safety comes from control.

And if we have done any form of ayahuasca work, we all know that control can always take us.

11:13

So far I see it as the concept of going to the beach.

I’m trying to grab lots of sand and I’m trying to hold all of the sand in my hand by squeezing it harder and harder.

Then more and more sands just falls through my hand.

What I’ve learned from Ayawaska over and over again, it’s hard.

11:28

It’s like I have to open up my hand to let life move through me because the minute I start controlling everything, life just chokes up.

Relationships, energy in my body, energy with my gifts.

So the ones I have trapped also is a way to try to control that.

11:48

And your gift doesn’t really need all of these conditions.

It just needs presence.

The next certification trap, this is something we easily fall into when we’re on this journey like we are now.

And we feel when once I go through that, I will be able to talk to people about integration.

12:05

I feel qualified.

But what I see a lot of times when people enter these certification is that they’re overqualified already to hold space for someone’s integration process or they’re overqualified already to hold space, add a retreat because I’ve been on that journey already for 10 years.

12:22

But another way that I see people do this, they have maybe 20 different certifications because they really want to be a this teacher.

Like their gift is being a teacher in this world.

And they start adding more and more, and eventually they’re so busy doing these certifications that they never get to be a teacher.

So we can save another course, another teacher, another book, another credential.

12:42

Then I’m going to share my medicine in my gifts with World.

Or maybe when I get to go to art school, that was my next thing.

When I go to art school, then I’m going to start doing my art.

And then that didn’t really happen.

So this trap disguises insecurity sometimes as humility or sacredness.

12:59

I feel it’s a bit of a teacher’s paradox where we say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

But I feel it’s the same way also the other way around.

When the teacher is ready, the student will appear.

Because if the teacher isn’t trapped in this fake humility, then they will always be teaching.

13:19

And the irony of doing the transformational part is that we learn over and over again.

We don’t know anything.

So we are in this school where life is our greatest facilitator and teacher and a lot of these teacher are extraordinarily humble, but it can use it almost as a trap of never stepping into their sovereignty and their power.

13:39

And there have been a total recept trap.

I need to, and I see this a lot in my integration work.

Clients will come in and they say I hated my job.

I have this beautiful client now.

It’s didn’t he didn’t say, hey, that job, but he didn’t like how it was set up.

13:55

I want to leave the job and move into integration work.

Amazing, absolutely qualified, incredible presence.

Now that he has gone through all of this game.

So that actually the skills in my job, like I actually really like the gift that I have within my job.

I can see the gift in creating and using my hands.

14:13

So I’m going to make this job into what serves me in my gift.

And I’m also going to add integration work.

So now I have two gifts that I get to express myself.

So instead of deleting decades of experience, we’re weaving in the gift in this next iteration and evolution.

14:32

And another way we can say this total reset trap is starting to move to the jungle.

I need to completely let go of everything that I have now.

It keeps us a little bit busy.

It can almost be like destructive energy sometimes where you just, OK, if I let go of everything, then they will have it.

14:48

And yes, in the spiritual process, there is a lot of letting go, but if you didn’t have to let go of anything right now and you just gave yourself 10 moments to explore your gift, what would come alive in you?

Like what would be the micro when we go to the macro extreme, what would be the micro that we can investigate together and how would that feel like?

15:10

That’s where I would need the energy.

When we’re in this trap and the healing first trap, once I’m healed, then I’m ready.

This trap keeps us and this is circling with our wounds.

And I do feel that some of our wounds, they will always spiral in deeper level of understanding and healing.

15:28

So I don’t know if we will ever be fully healed, any of us, I’m sorry to say.

It seems to be a continuous process.

It seems to be a deeper healing, a deeper understanding each time.

It’s Spiral letting yourself meet the part of you that are already complete, that are already healed, the version of you that is already ready to be of service or to share your gifts.

15:54

I think it’s extremely important to start building that relationship.

If your relationship has mostly been towards I need to heal everything 1st and then the all and nothing tracks like the black and whites.

If I can’t live my gift fully, I won’t live it at all.

I don’t know how many books that never gets finished or how many screenplays or how many music or how many people who doesn’t step into this career because they feel like I can’t do it fully so that I’m not going to do it at all.

16:20

And this type of compromise is very black and white, very soap opera, and it creates a lot of internal drama.

And I’ve had it so severely, it’s not fun.

And what I’ve seen is that a lot of the gifts, they don’t really come with a paycheck and a career.

16:38

A lot of these books, I’ve been writing on a book now for 20 years and it will probably never bring any money, but it’s like falling in love in the process with that gift instead of the trap of all or nothing.

It’s really important.

So this is again a place where we can look at more of the micros and what is it that can actually be received right here and now and how can it be expressed.

17:01

And when it comes to the ego, I feel its main components when it comes to the gift is to keep ourselves busy from stepping into that fully vibrant present energy.

Because when we’re there, if you remember as a child and you were just fully consumed by anything, maybe you weren’t even trying to build something with Legos or do something when you were playing, but you were just, there was no time, there was no space and the ego was not really fully available.

17:31

And this is where I think of it almost like an ego game board.

We are playing sort of an ego bingo in our cycles, in our games with ourselves.

We get up and then we get into business and then we have some procrastination.

Then we have some self critique and some down and then we have some over learning or we’re helping over talking.

17:48

We’re going to some comfort chasing.

Then we do some potential daydreaming.

I’m dreaming about everything that I could become and Oh my God, and then I’m making all of these strategies on how I’m going to become that person.

But then at the 7th level of the third month of the fantasy, something collapses and then that whole strategy falls apart and I have to start over and reverse engineer all of this business, all of this distraction, all of this waiting game is a way to keep the ego busy and actually also building its power so that we’re not fully able to step into that presence energy.

18:23

And that’s also the ego’s real job.

It’s to keep the game going.

So whatever we call it, the ego to shadow mind, it’s not evil, it’s just terrified of dissolution.

It’s just terrified of letting go and surrender.

It’s two functions within it that would say, Oh my God, it’s game over and trust.

18:42

And I find it so interesting that we who do plant medicine work, these are things that we get really good at, which is letting go and surrender.

Every single time you drink a cup or you start working with a mushroom or any plant medicine, the permission slip that they have for you to work with them is that you let go of control is for you to let them guide you and flow and be present.

19:09

If you try to sit there and OK, I’m going to control you and I’m going to tell you, at least for me, that has never worked and I just get the process close.

We’re not talking to you right now before you’re ready to let go and surrender.

So it’s not really the ego that gets to play there.

19:26

It’s our true presence that comes to the surface with these amazing plan teachers.

So everyone who is in this program that you’re already really good at letting go and surrender, and you’ve done that on such a deep, profound level.

19:43

I feel that when we look at the ego, we have to see it as its purpose is to keep itself at play.

It’s an organ and its job is to protect and sustain the identity that it was built around, survival and when we start receiving and expressing our true gifts.

20:00

The ego senses of its own, it starts seeing itself as maybe irrelevant or unsafe because there’s vulnerability, there’s intimacy, true intimacy with our self and our own energy.

It’s start seeing that this puzzle piece that is created to fit in society somewhere is starting to change it.

20:16

And its job is to protect that structure or maybe even build more structure to it so it feels more safe.

Because I see more and more when I work with clients, when they step into this part of the process and the gift starts moving freely.

Or we can also say their natural energy, their natural abundance, their God-given, beautiful, delicious, authentic energy.

20:37

Their truth starts to flow freely.

Drama ends because we never tried.

We don’t need to fix and prove and heal and defend because we just become expression itself.

So the ego does what it does best.

It creates a lot of noise, endless loops, endless games, comparison, urgency, business, anything to keep you slightly out of resonance with your natural frequency.

21:02

Think of that little puzzle piece that is your divine true nature.

That is like God.

The divine create that specific puzzle piece.

It’s only you who fit into that part of the universe.

So that entire universe feels complete when you are a part of the whole.

And if you take that puzzle piece out and destroy it, then the entire universe goes with it because it’s part of that very consciousness, is a part of God.

21:24

It’s part of the divine and the ego needs to turn it a little bit out of resonance.

If that little pus appeals was a radio channel with a beautiful song, the ego needs to turn the radio channel a little bit so it gets a little bit noisy so that we can’t fully receive it and express that energy.

21:42

That’s how I feel.

It’s when it comes to the ego, and this is also where we see the shadow and the ego kind of feed some postponement or procrastination, the promise of future awakening that keeps you from living right now, today.

And here’s the paradox.

21:58

The moment you start fighting the ego, we see that a lot in processes in ayahuasca and also in the integration space.

People that are in this very deep fight with themselves and are parts of themselves.

When you just observe it, you accepted, OK, the power collapses into presence again and the game ends not because you’re going to win, because none of these ego games is going to take us anywhere, but simply because we stop playing.

22:23

And we all are going to meet a lot of people tired of this game that they are playing with themselves.

And we meet them at retreats and meet them in integration spaces where they come to integration or they come to retreat because they’re they haven’t failed at healing, but because they’re exhausted from playing the game in their own life.

22:45

They’re tired of the lack of boundaries.

They’re tired of their internal drama and so criticism.

They’re tired of their need of trying to be right or need to be wrong.

So for years to try many different games, they’ve been collecting insights, they’ve been managing pain, they’ve been muscling identity, they’ve been healing, but they’ve never been fully resting in their true nature.

23:07

And this is where I heard a very brutal truth from one shaman who said if you’re suffering, go back to your life and suffer until you’re done with it and then come back.

And it sounds really brutal because yes, we have trauma and wounds that really needs support and collective support and healing, but it also points to the truth with our ego.

23:27

If we separate the pain and the suffering that we all carry within us that are also ancestral, that deserves the healing and the health and the games that we’re keeping ourselves busy with in day-to-day life.

No one is going to be able to end any of these games until you decide that you’re finished playing.

23:44

So for me, when I work with integration is that first I need to get people present to the idea that they might be playing some games because sometimes they’re very identified with the game and they get very offended like, but that is a part of me or that’s a part of how my life has been structured.

24:01

And they don’t really want to look into what part are they playing in that game because the game always feeds an effort if the chase, the chase from wordiness and readiness and clarity and belonging, and it collapses the moment you try to win and be right.

Integration begins when our fatigue of all of these games becomes a readiness to be more present and to finally let the performance of separation and allow yourself just to live.

24:30

And this is where we also will see a lot of even in the spiritual arena, a lot of people that are performing their spirituality.

And for me, this is again also just another game when gifts and the games.

So what I have seen and witnessed over and over after tweets and integration spaces is that when people really step into their gift and their truest nature, in essence, they hit the jackpot.

24:58

They won the spiritual lottery simply by just coming home to themselves.

So most of what we call integration work is a slow on binding of identity, looping in circling different cycles.

But what I see is that when your gift comes online, when you’re fully present with yourself and your natural energy, these games start to lose gravity.

25:19

And they’re also not so interesting because it’s more juicy.

It’s like when you’re in your most truest authentic energy, it’s like the nectar of the divine.

You are being cradled by your own divine energy, by your true self.

25:35

You bring yourself into equilibrium.

You are sensing, you know, as if you won the lottery.

You’re sensing what true peace and belonging feels like on the inside.

So when we are at the space of really expressing our gifts, many of these games just end because we are not performing or arguing with the past.

25:59

We’re living from our gift.

And we stopped negotiating with pain and we started going into transmitting this inner residence coherence and what follows after the game ends.

Now we’re going to play games for the rest of our lives.

But many of these games, they will stop when you step into your true expanded self, step into the version of you that actually have done a lot of healing.

26:24

And I was ready to really walk the path that you have felt called to walk.

That’s when a lot of these games falls away, gets replaced with other games.

That’s OK, but you start becoming more conscious of them and what really happens is that you’re very naturally are receiving and expressing your true nature.

26:44

There’s no more like overextensive strategy.

You’re flowing, You begin to move, to speak, to create and connect from your essence, not from defence.

And your energy stops looping in survival and start circling into service.

And this, I feel, is the great return, receiving life as it is and letting that life express itself through you as your gift to yourself and to the world.

27:09

And I like to think of everything as a gift.

Honesty.

Because what if your energy is the gift that you’ve been waiting for?

What if your next word or thought that you have in your hand right now is the gift?

What if your prayer is to gift?

27:27

What if your presence is to gift?

What if your courage is to gift?

What if your silence is to gift?

Or your smile today is to gift.

What if your curiosity or your breath is the gift?

What if nothing needs to be improved and prepared for this part of your chapter, only received and expressed as it already is, that the gift is actually the path, your true path.

27:51

When you’re in your true energy, in your own truth, in your own integrity, that path that has been calling you and all your gifts and expressions of gifts are already light out on that path like little diamonds waiting for you.

When you stop sailoring, separating life into sacred and ordinary.

28:10

And you realize the gift was never something that you even have to give.

It was the way you always have been giving, always been giving just by being you.

And I feel that’s the masterful.

The game of this universe is this hide and seek where we try all of these games and it’s almost like the divine is saying, hey, go and try ayahuasca, go and try drugs, go and try the career for 20 years that exhausts you.

28:39

Go and try overeating, self criticism, try whatever you think can make you happy and in control.

And when you’re ready, when you feel ready, then create the space to really be who you are, to receive yourself and express yourself.

28:57

That’s what I feel at the end of the journey, when you have done so much in your work, there comes a time where you will have to make a conscious choice and say, OK, I’m just going to be me, my natural energy, and celebrate that with all of you.

29:18

There is a one part of the gifts that I find so fascinating with people in every culture, in every age, there is the timeless nature of our gifts because your gift is not bound to time and age and role and relationship or gender or religion or even skills.

29:39

A lot of the gifts that you carry has been moving through you your entire life.

It’s like the same current afloat in childhood and in silence and in a breakup and in a trauma, in every version of you, in every role you ever had as a mother, as a father, as a brother.

And when you touch that frequency, there is no effort, there’s no talk, there’s no audience.

30:00

It’s just simply, yes, that’s the energy that I look forward, the most effortless energy that flows from your being and not from a character and not from a game, because that game requires a lot of mental worship to keep going.

So you can ask yourself, how can everything that has ever been, every role, every joy, every wound, every season, they’ve all went into continuum of your gifts expression right now because our gifts are never meant to erase our past.

30:31

They’re meant to turn it into music.

You can also ask yourself what has been a gift, a state of being, a way for me to receive or express myself in the world that has always been there throughout my life.

For example, I remember when I was 5 and 6, I had this intuition that has always been there that tapped me into a dialogue that was ancient and mature.

30:58

As if I had this, for example, being bullied, I would have this voice deep within me that said they don’t know who you are, it’s OK, let them let them say whatever and let them bully you in all the way.

They don’t know who you are.

31:14

They can’t see you.

So I knew that I had that connection from a very early age.

And it is that intuition and that inner voice that I get to use in my work.

God knows people don’t pay for my intellect in my job.

They pay for my intuition.

31:31

And that is one of the gifts that I bring into this work.

And then there are different myths around our gifts that are also really fun to look at.

Sample gifts are talents, playing the piano and building, architecture for building, and so on.

Because we can sometimes confuse gifts with skills, a skill can be taught.

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A gift is an energetic signature.

It is your unique puzzle piece.

It’s the way the consciousness moves through you and expresses itself through you.

Painting, singing, leading, and the expression of the gift.

But there are not the gift itself, as I found so interesting when resembling if you go to an art school and you see all these different artists and you can see them painting the exact same model, for example, that stands naked beautifully in front of them.

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But if you ask every artist what their gift is with art, they would all say a different thing.

They would say, oh, my gift is perception, devotion, emotional transmission, coherence, truth telling, attunement.

Very few will say my gift is the technical skills.

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I see all of these gifts actually coming from our sensitivity to our own self and training our sensitivity, something that all of us are very good at in this program because a part of the curriculum with plant medicines and transmission is to get into a more and intimate and sensitive relationship with ourselves.

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And it it’s in that sensitivity that I feel that our gifts are alive and awakened.

Then there’s another myth that says gifts have to be real, has to be like a painting that I can see or a book or song.

But what I feel is that a gift is what’s true to you.

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Your truth is the ultimate gift.

And for some, that gift that’s expressing itself with putting stones on top of each other.

This old woman who I think is one of the happiest eyes that I’ve ever seen, her gift is knitting titties.

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I don’t think that is the gift, but she’s knitting titties and there’s probably a deeper gift within that, but it expresses itself as it’s knitted, knitted things.

And I think it’s just fascinating.

Or maybe for someone it is ironing while they’re surfing.

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It doesn’t really matter what the result is.

It matters what is true to you because that’s also what reveals your part.

And if you give this, what’s true to you.

I looked at some of these beautiful altars and art that is shared within this community that there’s so much expression, so much dedication to detail, so much balance and harmony and love put into this painting.

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Just beautiful digital altar.

There’s so much gifts that are alive that are expressing themselves in all of these.

And I’m sure if you asked everyone who was creating this that they were in their truth when they were sharing this.

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To summarize these slides, I would say your gift is your part.

It’s your true part and everything that arises on you being in your true self, on your true path, expressing what’s true to you.

That’s a diamond.

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That’s a gift.

There’s also a myth that gifts must be monetized or public so everyone can see them and applaud them.

Because modern culture equates value with disability and likes and followers.

But most gifts for never meant for the marketplace.

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Many of them are private.

They’re sacred.

For example, I have never sang outside a ceremony room.

I should probably like the gift of deep listening, making space feel safe.

There’s so many safe space holders in our community attending a garden.

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Have you seen the people who are just devoted to a garden and you come in there and it’s a a spiritual Disneyland of colors.

It’s just so much beauty and it’s everything is tended with so much love.

Do you just feel it in your heart?

For some, maybe it’s knitting, feeding the birds, singing in the shower, harmonizing chaos, quietly meditating gifts.

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They feed the field long before they feed a career.

And this is where we get stuck.

We think that this song or this book or this integration, if it doesn’t bring me money, it’s not my gift.

And maybe that’s not true.

For some, they also think the gift has to be glamorous.

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If I’m on this path, I have to be this teacher on stage.

Maybe they have to look impressive, but I feel that most true gifts, you might even spot them if you don’t pay attention.

I love just witnessing the gifts that just you see them sparkling in their eyes.

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When someone is fully alive, they’re fully on, they’re fully present, they’re fully flowing, and that just for a moment, you see that flower of consciousness just opening up wide and you see it just blossoming fully for a moment.

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That’s the most magical part of this journey, when we get to witness that.

But those that we’re sharing this journey with, and maybe that comes in a whole completely ordinary situation.

Patience, steadiness, humor and darkness.

The ability to laugh or to sing when things are difficult.

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There’s a lot of glamour in the performance, but there’s more grace and depth in the transmission.

And then also the mythic gifts are chosen.

Now we can look at this from different facets, but I feel that people think they have to find a gift as if it’s been hidden somewhere.

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And I feel if you start just looking into your own games with yourself, you will find a gift that’s really there, just open and ready and clear.

But we are putting so many distractions and contradictions around it.

I feel the gifts are.

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It’s something we’re already expressing.

We’re just trying to interrupt it.

And I don’t believe that we can choose the gift because you are already created.

Like your unique energy, your unique puzzle piece is the divine imprint.

And if you stop refusing it and start accepting it in all its glory and all its chaos and all this madness and all its aliveness, then you don’t have to wait or you don’t have to be chosen by the gift because we’re not what loves us.

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We are with the we love.

And the gift is an expression of love.

And then also the the myth that each person has one gift.

I feel the gifts are plural and they have sometimes seasonal, different frequency come online in different chapters of life.

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Your gift at 20 might be expression that’s 40, the sermon at 60, silence.

And maybe that’s the same gift, changing outfits.

But wholeness means also an integration, means allowing this constellation also to shift.

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And this is again where we can put our attention and say, OK, I’ve been through many chapters of my life.

I’ve been through many roles.

I mean too many careers.

But what has never changed?

What has been there expressing itself in different ways, but never changed.

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And then even more important, the myth that each person is not a gift.

That as if there is some people that are just not carrying a gift or a medicine to humanity.

Because for me, every person carries the signature frequency of the divine and unique medicine that only they can bring into every room, into every industry, into every culture.

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And for the collective to be whole, every frequency must be welcome.

So it’s just like within us, if we have a part that is exiled, we feel fragmented.

So we need to pay attention as someone who is walking this park.

If we see that society starts shunning, mocking, mistreating parts of our society because those individuals or outcasts or exiles are expression as we often mirror in our own most vulnerable and sensitive aspects.

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So the part of the human system that is still waiting to be loved back into belongings.

So I see everyone that’s getting mocked or ridiculed or taken away rights as parts of the greater consciousness that is someone is trying to bully or threaten or exile.

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And those are the people that deserves everyone’s attention and support.

When we see that, because they represent our most vulnerable, I think they truest parts in ourselves as well.

And then the myth gifts make life easier.

Or when I just step into my gift, everything is sorted, everything is, everything is dealt with.

40:24

I feel that real gifts can also create some complications for the ego because they expose us to more intimacy.

It’s like being seen without clothes.

They can ask for us to step into deeper responsibility as leaders, as in for our own campfire, for our own life.

They can expose us to deeper truths about ourself and they can start rearranging the building that we have built to fit in.

40:49

So the gift.

As for freedom and permission, not comfort, the myth can also be gifts guarantee acceptance.

I don’t think many of us would feel that way because a lot of us owning our gifts can actually end false belonging with the relationship.

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It can almost polarize the field because I’m really deeply, truly in my true nature.

I act as a magnet that pushes.

It just rejects people who cannot stand in that truth or in that level of liveness.

So some people fall away.

So for me, I feel like a gift is also a way of purification, internal and externally in my field.

41:30

And it is definitely not a popularity contest.

It is a bringing myself into completion process.

What else to mention here?

What I feel that the gifts are actually asking for us as individuals on this journey is to finally fully accept ourselves without any sacrifice, without any compromise.

42:00

They asked us to just accept your own divine nature as it is.

The end.

Finish finito.

Then there’s the myth Gifts are separate from wounds as if they are like a.

Certain skill set over here that has something.

To do with my wounds and in our group probably have a different experience, but mostly the places that hurt.

42:22

It’s usually where the transmission flows through the wound becomes porous enough or open enough for the light to move through and that’s why a gifts and pain.

They always travel together and it’s almost like the different sides of the same coin or scar.

And for me, wounds are shaped around suppressed life force.

42:41

They form when our natural expression, voice, joy, anger, creativity, sensitivity are judged unsafe and unacceptable.

And to survive, we build very fancy structures around those expressions.

We build tension in the body.

42:58

We build strong bodies, stories in the mind, protective identities, and when you start moving into the frequency of your gift, into the speed of your own truth, you start touching the same energy that the wounds were spilled to contain and protect.

43:15

That’s why it hurts.

That’s why we feel a lot of resistance.

The nervous system remembers the original danger attached to that energy.

This is the way I see people spinning program after program, circle after circle, retreat after retreat, because they are running around that very energy.

43:32

And then the integrations ask, actually ask them to step into that energy fully, to take the first step, to be in action to meet that energy.

Because singing can reactivate the moment your voice was shamed, painting and reawaken memory of being ridiculed, leading other people, stepping into the role as an integrator, facilitator, a constructive fear of being seen, even punished for standing up.

43:56

So the gift triggers the wound because they share the same origin point, the place for your essence, that resistance.

The wound is the imprint of that resistance, and the gift is the current that keeps flowing underneath it.

So as you start expressing your gift and you start walking on your shoe path, consciously and gently to protect, the pattern starts to update.

44:15

Body learns this energy is safe.

And that’s how information happens.

Not by erasing the wound.

It might always be there, but by letting the life force that created flow freely again.

Now, I’m not sure about you, where you meet your truest being, energy and your gifts.

44:35

But for me, there is a space and I sense that I don’t know exactly where it is, but it’s like really far behind the mind and it feels like a completely empty room.

And that’s where that energy just channels.

True.

I can hear meditations and music and there’s this intuitive voice.

44:52

Sometimes it’s really frustrating because it can be sitting in a session with a client and then intuition will come and say you need to ask that question.

And then it’s a really scary question to ask that will completely risk the trust that we have in our relationship because it might be information I shouldn’t have, or it might be very confronting to the client.

45:12

And then I will hear the voice say, if you want to do this job, you need to be courageous.

I’m like, I don’t want to do this.

So for me, it’s like a room of stillness where it flows through.

It’s really still that energy.

45:27

It’s really gentle.

And if I’m on a phone or I’m distracted, I won’t hear a thing.

So for me to establish a relationship with my gifts, I have to have an established relationship with stillness me and stillness we have to have.

45:42

We have to have that space to have a relationship every single day.

If not, I am not able to channel that energy to receive and then to express it.

So a question you can ask yourself is what moves naturally when you are completely still and not distracted by anything?

45:59

I feel that our gifts is also an expression of our true nature that is very effortless and joyful and relaxed.

So it moves through us when we createspace for this natural energy to just be received them and expressed.

When we stop forcing, it just arrives on its own.

46:15

It also doesn’t have a timetable like a muse, you can’t really control it.

Sometimes when it will flow through you, it arrives in its own divine timing.

So it’s important that we have the sensitivity to spot it when it starts moving through and the more authentically aligned we are with ourselves and on our own through path, that becomes this consistent relationship that is always available.

46:46

And questions that you can ask yourself from an integration standpoint when it comes to your gifts is what expression feels most natural for you before any effort or performance has to enter.

When did it, for example, first feel unsafe for you to live that way, to live in that expression?

47:07

And a very important one is what social or spiritual contracts has to be renegotiated or completed in the end, I’m no longer doing that for you to fully stand in your own gifts.

So, for example, if I had social contracts from childhood when I was bullied, I should never speak up.

47:24

I need to hide in the corner.

I should not sing because I get bullied.

I cannot play the piano because I get bullied.

I cannot do sports because I get bullied.

So there’s a lot of social contracts that I agreed on before that now are out of integrity, right?

47:41

Because I don’t want to live that way any longer and I don’t want to have those social contracts.

I might also have spiritual contracts, but those are a little bit deeper, the spiritual contracts with other people’s spiritual contracts, why I came into this lifetime, ancestors, karma and so on.

And to bring this up in a meditation can be really important because you might see that you are living on very outdated social contracts.

48:05

There might be people in your life right now.

If you see yourself.

Example, today I’m going to record a video on Facebook and I’m going to share my whole transnational journey.

I’m going to cry and I’m going to be authentic and I’m going to be have no shame, but sharing every single part of my transnational journey.

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The minute you say something like that to yourself, you will start feeling feeling the social contracts that are out of alignment with that energy.

OK, but I couldn’t say that because I had my high school friends.

You won’t understand.

And my aunt is very Christian.

There’s a social contract.

So we need to pay attention to those social contracts.

48:41

That is saying to us, you can be you, but not be your fullest true self because we agreed on that.

I need you to be this way for you to fit into this universe, to belong.

You are like America has this Declaration of Independence and I want to invite you also if you have a lot of social contracts and spiritual contracts that are no longer serving you, maybe also maybe also with yourself, I want to invite you if you do have any of these spiritual contracts and social contracts that are no longer serving you, you are allowed to like they do in America.

49:19

They have this independence of Declaration of Independence Day.

You are allowed to make your own declaration for your own independence.

You are allowed to make your own declaration of the agreements that now are the ones that you follow in your life, where your respect and honor and appreciation, celebration for your own authentic energy and expression comes before any of those social contracts.

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A lot of the work when we start walking on that true path where we express our true gifts are to start cutting the bonds with these previous contracts.

And within that thread in that bond is that energy that we feel the resistance of not belonging or breaking that bond and feeling unsafe because we’re stepping into our truest authentic nature.

50:05

Now if we feel into our truest gifts and presence, how does your body react when you start touching that energy now?

What moves in you?

What is alive in you?

When we say gifts, what do you already hold in your hand or in your heart when we say gifts in this world?

50:25

And what is the medicine that gifts brings to you?

If you got to take the biggest shot of your own gift and you were just enjoying it and you were drinking all of your own gift gifts, or it was an apple growing from your tree of life, it had only your nectar, only your gifts, and you ate it, how would you feel?

50:45

What gift would it bring you?

And if you look at the shadow of your tree of life and all of the fruits that is growing from it, what is the golden shadow trying to keep you safe from?

And what small acts of expression can you already offer today that feels true and not performative or impressive?

51:03

And who or what can hold space for this version of you without you needing to perform?

What space, room, circle can you feel that you can be bully or true self without being judged or without feeling that you need to perform?

And how also can you let this gift feed the world after it’s been feeding you without you emptying yourself or sacrificing any parts of yourself?

51:28

Now lately there is some integration homework and I would love for you to experience one hour of stillness without trying to do anything.

Not reading a book, not journaling.

I have this part in my program with my clients where they need to go whole day with a blindfold and not do anything and really just surrender to what is arising.

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So I don’t want you to sleep or meditate or have a spiritual practice or start scanning your body.

I just want you to lay down and meet yourself for one hour, that’s all, and just see what arises without expectation.

Then I also want you to do and express to me a day in your own gifts.

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I want you to imagine that you lived an entire day fully in your gifts and body, natural, free.

And I want you to write a journal entry describing that day in every single detail possible, every emotion, every thought, everything that you did.

How did you move?

What choices did you make?

52:21

How did it feel?

How did your body feel when you were fully aligned with your essence?

How was it speaking in front of people, or serving in a retreat or painting or being in nature?

What unfolded when you stopped holding back?

After you’ve written this long and detailed journal entry of your full day, from when you get up in the morning to when you go to bed in your fullest, truest, most abundant, expressive nature, you’re fully on your path, fully embodying all of your gifts.

52:52

I wanted to record a short video and share with me either in the community or with me directly as well as this journal entry.

Will you speak from that energy as if you’re sharing the story with me as a close friend after that day is completed and you want to celebrate that day because you’re just amazed by yourself and the energy you’re feeling.

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So let’s atone the breath and the emotion, Harry, that frequency of the gift.

And please complete this practice before next week because it flows directly into the next phase of our integration work that we would do in our circle.

So your journal entry and video will form the bridge between this week’s exploration and integrating the next part of the process.

53:33

Enjoy the integration process.

Lots of love.

That’s what I got for you this week, my friend.

And if you feel called to go deeper into your own integration work, ioffer Tree Journeys.

53:52

I lead an integration circle for people walking this path with ayahuasca and I just completed finishing a six month integration circle with therapist coaches, retreat facilitators, and those that are going deep on this journey.

You can sign up at davidvox.com.

And when you’re.

54:08

Ready for the second journey?

That’s the celebration circle.

It is 6 months of celebrating your life and your gifts.

And the first reaction many people have is spy on Earth.

Would I want to do that?

And the answer is quite simple.

How you get there is how you will be there.

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If you are constantly healing and hustling and hiding and performing or proving, do you think that once you arrive there you will suddenly feel free?

Because I see that waiting to celebrate until after you achieve the new job, had more ayahuasca or fixed your relationship is not the answer.

54:44

Celebration is not the reward, it’s the rehearsal.

It’s the daily act of self respect self.

Honor and gratitude.

It’s the integration of who you already.

Are.

And when you learn to celebrate who you are now, every future version of you arrives already welcomed.

55:03

And what we refuse to celebrate, it becomes our unfinished work.

When you learn to honor the ordinary, to bow to your own brilliance, to see your gifts and story as sacred, something inside of you shifts.

You stop chasing your life and you start inhabiting it.

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You start living it, and every other part of your world begins to rise to meet you.

Your relationship, your voice, your joy, even your income.

Because when you live in celebration, you attract a life that celebrates you back.

And the six month celebration circle is built for that. 24 facets, 24 live mirrors.

55:42

Every call shows you a different angle of who you are, what you project, what you hide, what you’re not seeing.

And it ends with the celebration ritual where 20 mirrors reflects your gifts back to you.

Your only job is to receive.

And maybe for the first time ever, you will see your full faceted, multi dimensional, gifted, abundant self.

56:05

And then there’s the third journey, Sacred impact.

And this is the one for leaders in the transformational and spiritual field who have this great vision, depth and sensitivity, but they struggle to bring their service into tangible form here on Earth.

I’ve guided and coached over 5000 leaders in the last 15 years, helping them create platforms and offerings that comes from a real alignment, something that honors their integrity, their sensitivity, their pacing.

56:32

And for six months, we meet as a group of 10.

We bring your platform, your ideas, your service, your medicine into structure, into form, and into a rhythm that actually grows the tree you’ve been cultivating and produces the fruit you’ve been trying to reach for years.

It’s planting these seeds in a container where they can grow and bringing it into resonance and clarity, and then watching the fruits of the sacred work manifest in a way that finally feels true to who you are.

57:00

You can find more information about these three journeys on Davidvox com.

See you next week, my friend.