What if the pain you are trying to heal is not yours to carry?

Imagine drinking ayahuasca for your own healing and suddenly finding yourself face to face with your father’s shame, your grandmother’s unresolved pain, or your great-grandfather’s grief from a war you never lived through.

For many people, ayahuasca does not work only on a personal level. It opens the lineage.

In this episode, I speak about the ancestral dimension of ayahuasca experiences and what it actually takes to integrate lineage material with responsibility, discernment, and respect.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why ayahuasca often brings up ancestral and lineage material before personal trauma is resolved
• How to recognize when the pain, shame, or grief you are feeling does not originate in your own biography
• What happens when family secrets, unspoken histories, and inherited survival patterns surface through ceremony
• The difference between carrying ancestral material and being consumed by it
• Why some energies do not want to be purged, fixed, or pushed out, but instead demand respect and surrender

We also explore the four types of ancestors that commonly appear in ayahuasca work, and how to recognize which layer you are engaging:

• Ancestors of the bloodline: parents, grandparents, and family lineage whose unresolved trauma, shame, and survival strategies live in the body and nervous system
• Ancestors of the land: the spirits and memory of the places we live on, including histories of displacement, violence, and belonging
• Ancestors of the soul: previous lives and spiritual memory that surface as embodied knowing rather than story or identity
• Ancestors of affinity: chosen ancestors, guides, and spiritual allies we align with across lifetimes, including plant spirits and teachers

This episode also addresses:

• What can happen after lineage revelations, including confusion, destabilization, and unexpected liberation
• A personal story of receiving a lineage truth in ceremony that altered my understanding of my family and identity
• Why confronting family members too quickly after ceremony can create harm, even when the information feels undeniable
• How to integrate ancestral truths without collapsing, reenacting the past, or trying to heal an entire bloodline alone

If you want a deeper container for this work, go to ⁠www.davidvox.com ⁠

Here are three ways to step into the work of Ayahausca integration:

The Integration Circle

A grounded space to process what happens after ceremony and translate insight into daily life, guided with emotional safety, confidentiality, and practical integration principles.

The Celebration Circle

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Sacred Impact

A six month, 24 week container for leaders building offerings, a practice, or a platform in this space. Voice, vision, structure, integrity, and the lived embodiment required for your service to land.

Explore options and book a consult via ⁠https://www.davidvox.com/⁠

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Resources and podcats transcripts: ⁠ayahuascaintegration.org

TRANSCRIPT:

0:00

Imagine drinking ayahuasca for your own healing and suddenly finding yourself.

Face to face.

With your father’s shame, or your grandmother’s unresolved pain, or your great grandfather’s.

Grief from a.

War that you never lived through.

With ayahuasca, many of us learn something that is beyond our cultural and religious understanding that our deepest healing is not.

0:22

Only about the.

Person who arrives at the retreat.

It’s also about the family that we come from and the lineage that lives through us and what happens when ayahuasca opens up family wounds.

You didn’t even know that you were caring.

When your nervous system is given access to stories your mind never lived in this lifetime.

0:43

In this episode, we’re going to explore the profound and often very challenging reality of integrating ayahuasca experiences that has an ancestral dimension.

We’re going to dive into the four types of ancestors that we have that can help us on our journey and also learn to recognize what ancestors we are working with.

1:04

And we’re going to look at how planned medicine can bring us into direct contact with inherited trauma, but also our gifts.

And we’re also going.

To talk about what can happen after these revelations and sometimes secrets are revealed.

1:20

I was shown a secret about my mom and my lineage that changed my entire life and made my mom admit about something that she had not been honest about.

And in this episode, we’re not talking about shame and blame.

When we worked with lineage, we often discovered that the people we label as the bad guys in our world today, they are not strangers.

1:40

They are actually in our family.

They are our lineage.

They are in our story, and they are in our blood.

So this is about responsibility and discernment.

What is yours to feel?

What is yours to release?

And it was never yours to carry.

1:59

Let’s dive in.

The first time I understood the ancestral dimension of ayahuasca healing.

Was that an ayahuasca retreat?

In my first year working with this incredible plan teacher, I was training to be an integration facilitator 10 years ago.

2:14

And I remember during the ceremony, I went to the bathroom by myself and I turned off the light and I sat down on the toilet in the dark.

I wanted to meet my fear for the dark.

So I was sitting there in a pitch black bathroom, hoping that this fear would present itself.

But what came was actually not darkness.

2:32

Suddenly I saw a light coming through the wall on my left side, and a hand made of pure light came true.

And I remember lifting up my feet from the bathroom, absolutely terrified.

For the first time in my life, I could see a spirit with my eyes open.

2:53

And I’d seen.

Glimpses of spirits before with my eyes closed on ayahuasca.

I met Ayahuasca in my first ceremony, but having my eyes open in the dark and seeing a spirit as clear as day, something that was not human, there with me, it was more terrifying than being scared of the dark.

3:14

And slowly this hand moved through the wall and the woman came towards me.

She was tiny and she approached me with such softness and gentle respect, showing her presence with love and compassion.

3:30

She understood I was scared and I could see every part of her as clearly as anything I would see in the day.

Her face was soft with a loving smile, and gently she put her hand on my heart and I could feel her loving energy.

3:48

And then she said something I would never expect.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I remember being in total confusion and awe by this statement, and I could see the hand of light crystal clear holding over my heart.

And she repeated it again and again.

4:04

There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you.

And as she was saying this, I started to release a lot of energy and I started answering back to her, no, no, no, this is not true.

There is something wrong with me.

4:20

I’ve been abused.

I’m gay, I’m I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m not lovable.

And what happened in that moment was that part of my consciousness was right there in the bathroom in the dark with a spirit.

And a part of my subconscious was coming up like a program surfacing, a core program, a deep automatic loop that had been running since childhood.

4:41

And dad was saying, oh, my God, there’s something wrong with me.

There’s something wrong with me.

And these two parts of my consciousness got to meet each other in that present moment at the bathroom.

And I remember thinking, This is why I never like people seeing my eyes, because they can see it.

4:56

They can see that there is something wrong with me.

It was like shame and guilt.

Were flagged inside my gaze.

But she kept.

Repeating it, she kept touching my heart and saying there is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with you.

And in the bathroom, I understood something that I’d never even touched before.

5:16

This wasn’t guilt like I did something wrong.

This was shame.

I am something wrong, like I was made wrong, like the divine didn’t love me, like I was a mistake in this entire universe.

And while I was sitting there, I could feel the part of my consciousness that had been within me this entire time, unconsciously playing a script I hadn’t been making true over and over again, sabotaging myself, overeating, almost trying to prove to this inner program within me that there is something wrong with me.

5:51

But now I was dissolving.

It was releasing itself.

All I needed to do was to fully feel the pain and shame of being totally unloved and unworthy.

And then it was released, and after this immensely powerful experience, I knew that I would never be the same again.

6:09

It felt like such a gift from the universe.

And if the spirit side would send someone to touch my heart and say there’s nothing wrong with me, maybe this actually meant that there isn’t anything wrong with me.

I felt emotionally dizzy, like my core identity was completely collapsing, and I tried to figure out what would that mean Then what does a life look like?

6:32

If there was nothing wrong with me, would that mean that I could just love myself?

It felt like my whole world had turned from a black and white video to a shimmering AD colors inside out.

Suddenly I was remembering all the people that would say I was so loving and kind and warm and maybe.

6:53

They had been.

Speaking the truth this entire time and I’d been destroying it into the garbage bin and I started feeling the sense of self love that I’d never had.

And it felt completely alien to me.

Like loving myself was not even a concept that I could touch from this other side because it didn’t exist.

7:11

It was only like a mental concept, like a checklist or a nice mantra you can say to yourself, I am Morty.

But to actually love myself, it wasn’t a task.

It was something that just arise naturally from knowing I am.

And then I walked back to the sermon room and I sat down in my mat.

7:30

Totally in awe.

And in shock over this concept that there’s nothing wrong with me and that I actually don’t understand why or how I could not love myself because it didn’t make sense anymore.

Of course I’m worried, of course I’m loving, I’m me, there’s nothing wrong with me.

And I lay down and I closed my eyes and another spirit appeared in front of me, smiling, but this time able.

7:52

Someone I had seen before, someone who was no longer alive and someone I had missed so much it hurt every moment I thought of her.

My beautiful grandma, my crazy larger than life Abuela.

The last time I saw her I was sitting next to her on the hospital bed.

8:11

She had cancer and she had carried so much shame her entire life without telling me anything.

But in that hospital bed she started to opening up.

It was like she was pulling up the curtains through her soul and she started telling me the stories that she had never told anyone in her life.

8:30

It was a true testimony of trust.

First came the stories about being with other women. 70 years old and my grandma came out of the closet.

Suddenly I started understanding all of the Elizabeth Taylor photos she had on the walls at home and never any of grandpa and how she was the first one to ask me if I was gay and how we always loved and adore the same things, music and dance.

8:55

And what a life she had lived but never told anyone about.

When she started sharing with me, it was like seeing fireworks in her eyes.

How the ladies had loved her, how they ran away together.

All of these hidden romances that she had never shared with anyone before.

9:14

Now she told me we didn’t even have a word for it.

Back then, there was nothing called lesbian.

It was just ladies who loved ladies.

And she said, you are lucky you’re even born, boy, because if I was alive today, you would not be born because I would have chosen to live my life fully and to love a woman openly.

9:39

And then she shared everything she was ashamed of, things she had done to her body.

And suddenly, all the cuts that she had on her wrists suddenly became a map where I understood every part of her train, things she had done to my mom, the addiction, the abuse, the guilt.

9:55

And she asked me over and over, are you ashamed of me?

Do you think there’s something wrong with me?

And I replied, no, I have never loved anyone as much as I do right now.

And when she died, there was a space in my heart that no one could ever fill.

I love this Elizabeth Taylor, loving and looking woman, the woman who painted roses all over her house and on her windows.

10:19

She was like a cabaret of lesbian consciousness, but completely hidden, and I thought I would never see her again.

Until that night with ayahuasca.

Suddenly she was standing in front of me with the biggest smile, my tiny little grandmother, and I had to tilt my head left and right to check that this was not just an imagination.

10:39

But she was there, standing in the same light as the woman on the bathroom.

And she invited me up in the ceremony room to dance because my grandma liked me, loved music.

And I remember.

Dancing with her, being sad for a moment that we never danced when she was alive, but now we were dancing and she showed me something that made me start to realize the implications of ayahuasca healing.

11:08

She had given me a gift or before that night I would say a curse of being gay.

And now she was so happy for me to be on that journey of releasing my shame so I could fully live my truth, Our truth of being in love with someone else full heartedly because she could never love a woman fully and openly like I now could love a man.

11:35

And that night I understood something that changed the way I see healing.

So much of what I was holding on to and working on was not just mine.

There were gifts being given within this work and there were burdens that were being carried, but they were not personal.

11:52

I was not only healing myself, I was completing something that began before I was born.

My shame and me being gay was not a personal failure, it was a part of my inheritance.

And the love I was learning to allow was not only for me, it was the love that had been denied expression in earlier generations.

12:19

And this is what ancestral healing actually is, is not revisiting the past, but allowing life to move where it once had to stop or was blocked to make that generational river move freely through us.

And once we do this healing, we liberate not.

12:36

Only those who came before.

Us, but also our self and those that will come after us.

And This is why ancestral healing requires a great deal of respect.

Shamans, when they sing an ikaro in the ceremony room, they sometimes connect to your energetic body, and they can revisit your previous lifetimes and the lifetimes of your ancestors.

12:59

They can see where the disruption of flow is.

They can use their body and their instruments of healing to repair these patterns of lineage.

And this requires a body of work that demands decades and often many lineages of indigenous medicine carriers to carry forward with respect and safety.

13:19

Another one of the ancestral energies that I had to work with took me over 7 years to release and I didn’t understand how I could release it but in every ayahuasca ceremony I could.

Feel.

This energy in my stomach and the shamans would try to pull it out and it stayed and it felt like sickness, anger, rage, but no matter what I did, I could not get it out.

13:42

I tried to purge it, I tried to push it out.

I tried to react us, but it was just stuck.

And the more I tried to push it out, the more difficult the process became.

And at some point something became clear.

This energy did not want to be vomited out.

It did not want to be pushed out by a shaman.

13:59

It didn’t want to be removed through force or technique or effort.

It wanted respect.

And eventually I surrendered so deeply that it released by itself.

And remember the.

Energy rising up in the bucket with a message so clear now you understand you do not push energy like this out.

14:17

You surrender, you let go and the energy will leave when the lesson has been learned.

And in the moment of that release was when I connected the deepest with my ancestors in this lifetime.

I vomited into the bucket in awe of finally releasing this energy up to so many years of hoping and trying.

14:37

And as I vomited, I felt 100 ancestors around me, holding me, embracing me, hugging me, supporting me.

We were all releasing this together.

True me.

It felt like I was releasing on behalf of the lineage, but also being supported by the lineage at the same time.

14:56

And when it left, I felt an immediate shift in my physical body and even deeper in my energetic body.

And the understanding landed again, deeper than before.

This work is not just about me and my personal karma.

It’s also my lineage, and my karma is a pattern that is perfectly woven into my lineage.

15:17

And when I fully, fully accept and surrender and learn deeply from these energies with respect, they are naturally released.

And one rule of thumb that I’ve learned from doing ancestral work and deep healing is that when it creates more humility, more respect, and more expansion that can hold love and balance and peace, we’re moving in the direction with the medicine and we’re returning it into self judgement and shame and hatred.

15:45

We’re moving against it.

And working with ancestral healing is something that has truly made me deeply humble.

Because in my lineage we have warriors, prostitutes, victims.

We have monks, nuns, lovers, mothers, brothers, sisters, all of it, and everything people like to point to when they blame at the problem in the world.

16:09

Immigrants, people that are different than us.

It all exists within the human story of every single one of us.

I am not outside of it, you are not outside of it.

We are all woven together in our lineages, in our blood, to our ancestors.

So my work is not to reject that reality, but to accept it, to stop persisting it and to stop trying to exile parts of my own existence, even the parts I do not have direct memory of, to try to cultivate acceptance, responsibility and equilibrium.

16:44

And for me it is the real threshold of this work.

I like to think of my lineage not as a burden, like I thought before, where we had so much addiction, but as something that is blossoming to me.

What they carried, darkness and suffering and unfinished business.

17:01

I no longer see it as blockages but more spiritual diamonds, minerals for my soul, nutrients compressed over time, energy that was suppressed and blocked but still carried immense life force.

Because when we compress life or light, it stays there until it’s released.

17:20

And once it does, it expands.

So we get to explore and be a part of that expansion.

It’s dense material that carries deep lessons and real light within it.

And in my deepest work with ayahuasca, I learned.

That some of the most valuable spiritual diamonds I found was not found in the light, it was found in absolute darkness where I had to learn to turn my own light on full force and bring myself back to me.

17:46

And when we talk about lineage, we often hear that we have 10s of thousands of ancestors in our DNA.

And some say trauma can be passed down through 16 generation, some say 4 generations in epigenetics.

And when I look at my hands, and when you look at your hands right now, you’re looking at the genetic material, it has been carried forward again and again.

18:09

When your hands touch each other, they’re touching every mother and father that ever made your lineage possible.

All your grandparents are in your hands, all your ancestors.

And when I look at the moon tonight, I’m looking at the same moon my ancestor looked at 100 years ago, 1000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.

18:31

And I love looking at the moon, inviting them in and saying, hi guys, we are looking at the same moon.

I honor you, I respect you.

You’re a part of me.

I’m a part of you.

And I want you to help me and work with me because I don’t want to do this work alone.

18:49

Because a part of the ancestral healing that is so important to notice is that when we’re working with ancestors and ancestral healing, it also means seeing our healing as a path of a circle, a circle of life and a circle of a community that is woven in this lifetime, in the past, and also in the future.

19:08

And for me, the ceremony is the circle of community.

When we are in ayahuasca, it removes the border between the past, the present, and the future.

We can connect with our ancestors, past lifetimes and even the future sometimes.

19:25

And ayahuasca is always done in community for a reason.

It creates a safe field and it connects us.

And it always is done with a shaman, A maestro.

Someone has devoted himself fully to the plant and to the path.

Someone with deep indigenous wisdom that carries lifetimes of experience and can do this deep work in a Safeway.

19:46

And in this circle.

Each person is a light that sends out energy within the circle.

So when someone falls asleep, the energy goes down and becomes less energy for the circle to go deeper and do more profound work.

And when we are more people and more powerful shamans and beautiful instruments, we can see the group moving into more profound processes.

20:06

And the ancestral part works the same way.

When we start doing this deep work, we are not just individuals anymore.

We are woven together and we’re healing on behalf of our lineage and we can call the lineage in to support us.

And when I do deeper.

20:22

Integration work with clients I always call our ancestors and guides in because the level of work that they can do inside the session and outside the session is beyond my comprehension but also my dimensional understanding.

In the last integration circle, we had a psychologist from Columbia who worked with indigenous shamans for over 16 years, Esteban, and he said something that truly showed also the power of this work.

20:49

He said that people could spend decades in therapy and they won’t be able to do the type of generational therapy ayahuasca can do in just a few ceremonies.

Because she takes us so deep into the root, into the blockage of the original wound, so that we can understand it, so that we can also, on behalf of the lineage, develop humility and respect for what once might have been warriors or rage or anger.

21:16

And we can see and feel that this is not the best way to live and that this karma travels through us into the next generation.

In my work, I’ve seen four types of ancestors in ayahuasca integration.

And I like to separate them so that it can be easier for you to understand what type of ancestors you want to work with or that you’re working with right now.

21:39

Of course, we have the ancestors of the bloodline, your lineage ancestors, and these are the ancestors that most of us recognize first because they are the family that you’re born into.

We have parents and grandparents and great grandparents and the ones.

That shaped our lives before we.

21:56

Even had the land bridge to understand it.

And when we start working with our ancestors, in my experience, you can tap into anger or grief or rage that you feel is not truly yours.

And it takes some time to get the sensitivity to understand that and to feel that the ancestors of our lineage lives very deeply in our body and in our bones.

22:25

Esteban, the psychologist, says that working with the ancestors within us are working with the bones and the structure.

One of the ways that I recognize that I’m working with my ancestors from my lineage is to see the challenges that has been travelling from one generation to another.

22:46

And in my lineage there was a lot of addiction and in some families there is guilt travelling, or as with my grandmother, there can be shame.

But most of the ancestral work that we do is something that we feel very deeply in our physical body.

23:02

And with ayahuasca, we can develop the discernment to understand what is mine here to carry and what is coming on behalf of the lineage that I need to release.

And this work can be very intimate and very close to the body and sometimes also really, really heavy.

And this is where I feel it’s so important that every single one of us that are doing this deep work never goes into this work alone, but stay and are a part of a circle that has experience and understanding.

23:29

And what often becomes clear is that a lot of what people are trying to heal did not begin with them at all.

It’s been carried forward because no one before had the capacity or the safety or the resources to feel it fully and to release it.

So healing with our ancestors from our lineage is not about fixing the past, but allowing something to finally come forward, to be released and then also put to rest.

23:54

And one thing that has helped me with working on my ancestral lineage, especially if you feel that your immediate lineage feels very heavy, maybe there are a lot of abuse or addiction, is to actually call in the ancestors that came before the wound, before the addiction, before the war, before the breaking.

24:12

And we are able to call in the ones that has a clean and deep and pure heart, the ones that has strength and clarity, the ones that were in our lineage before that problem arised, we can ask them to help stabilize our lineage.

24:29

So for me, the practice is very simple.

I pray, I ask, I call in support to these ancestors, Dear ancestors, those two came before our lineage had an addiction.

Please come and help me release this on behalf of our lineage.

24:46

And I also have learned that when it gets intense and you work with ancestral stuff, you can ask the intensity to be reduced.

You can ask the process to pause.

You can ask for containment because I don’t believe that doing ayahuasca work means that we’re subscribing to being in a process the entire time that can also turn into its own addiction.

25:07

Sometimes it’s good to have a rest.

And sometimes with ayahuasca being in a very heavy process, I even ask her, can we take a pause right now?

And I go out and I look at the stars and then I say, OK, now I’m ready to begin again.

And we can also do that with our ancestors.

We can help them to come in and support us and ask them to have a pause in our process.

25:28

And then it’s the ancestors of the land.

And this is another layer that has nothing to do with your family, but it has to do with where you live right now, because we’re not only born into lineages.

We are born.

Onto land and our land, our Pachamama.

25:43

She holds memory and our land remembers what happened on it, who lived there, who was displaced, what was honored, what was violated?

Did someone burned down in a forest?

Did someone murder people that were living on that land because they wanted that land?

26:00

And in ayahuasca work, people sometimes begins to sense this presence very directly, not as voices or visions, but more as an atmosphere, as a quiet intelligence that has been there long before you arrived.

And for me, when I moved to a new place, I always have a prayer to the spirits of the.

26:16

Land asking for their protection and their help and also asking for permission to be on the land.

And I say I am honouring all of you ancestors that have lived here and all the spirits of the land, the mountain spirits, the river spirits, the water spirits, the sea spirits.

And I ask them for permission to be on this land.

26:35

And I give my respect and my humility for all of the hard work that they’ve done and for all of the ancestors that have lived on this land and taking care of the gardens and the animals that have lived there.

Because this can bring me into a union with them so that I also have more support and feel like I have a bit of a spiritual ally that are with me on the land that I live.

27:02

And this is some incredibly sensitive for energies for me.

It’s also very helpful to know that there are some spirits on the land that are keeping me and my space safe when I go to sleep at night.

So for me.

Building a conscious relationship with the land that I live on has been very stabilizing in ways that no insight or book has ever been.

27:20

And then it’s the ancestors.

Of your soul, because sometimes what opens up has nothing to do.

With your family or your land, I see ancestors of our lineage as a larger physical body that we belong to.

We are our cells within an ancestral body that exist in physical form.

27:38

But in the same way, the lives that I’ve lived and that you have lived are also the cells of our souls body.

All of the previous lifetimes that I have shape the memory and also the spiritual expansion that I’m part of.

So many will speak about past lifetimes and they say I was a pharaoh, I was a St.

27:57

But most of the time I’ve seen people who do ayahuasca work, they need lifetimes that are not so pleasant at all.

People encounter memories that don’t belong to this lifetime and they know they haven’t imagined them or like me, they literally become the body and they remember and they see the life that they lived before.

28:18

And this can be a very humbling experience to meet yourself in a previous lifetime.

And what I see as a mistake here in integration is that a lot of us try to add this lifetime to the identification and the ego that we have now.

We are in this lifetime now.

28:33

The most important is to not try to bring the identity of a previous lifetime into this realm and into this ego.

But to look at the.

Lessons from that lifetime that was not complete, and how these lessons are asked to be integrated in this lifetime.

28:49

So not as an identification with a previous lifetime, but as an integrated direction you can take to bring it into completion.

Maybe it was a lifetime, but there was a lot of lack of respect for other humans.

And.

And you have brought forward that lesson into this lifetime.

29:06

Maybe it was a life where you had so many gifts that were never fully lived.

And in this lifetime, you are here to express your artistic gifts.

You’re here to sing your song and ceremony.

You’re here to finish your children’s book.

You are here to stand on stage and Share your story.

29:23

And the last one is the ancestors of affinity.

These are our chosen ancestors and spiritual allies.

And it’s the fourth layer that I feel everyone on this podcast has a very deep relationship with because we have a relationship with ayahuasca and she is a spiritual grandmother.

29:41

And I think a lot of these spirits we literally made a contract with before we were even born, like ayahuasca, we already had an agreement.

We’re going to work together when I get born because I’m going to need you.

So these are not ancestors that we inherit.

They are not ancestors that anyone can claim.

29:58

They are ancestors and spirits that we align with and we call them ancestors because they are all in our soul family, the fireplace, the stars, and Buddha, Jesus, whatever you would name them.

They are all guides.

They are all reincarnations or they are all frequencies.

30:16

So it doesn’t matter what they are called.

What matters is.

How they make you feel and how you want them to guide your consciousness.

And for many of us, these are some of the most intimate and sacred relationships that we have because no one on this planet would ever understand our relationship with, for example, ayahuasca grandmother, especially people who have never met the grandmother.

30:41

So these are chosen allies that are here to be teachers and guides and supporters and guardians and protectors.

And I hope no matter where you are on your journey, you connect to these guides and these allies and these ancestors every single day because they are so helpful and so generous and such incredible teachers to have on our path.

31:04

So when it comes to these 4 layers of ancestral healing and we start opening them, it can feel overwhelming.

Lineage, land, soul, memory, spiritual allies.

And this is also where discernment becomes essential in our integration journey.

31:21

Not everything needs to be processed at once.

You don’t have to open up and understand every single lifetime that you ever lived right now.

And not everything needs to be spoken out loud.

Some of these seats are just for you at the moment.

And also, not everything belongs in confrontation with family members who may not have had the same experience as you or has the capacity to receive it.

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So this is where support matters.

Real integration support, a circle with people have gone deep enough not to panic when these layers appear and to find people that know how to slow.

Down the process.

To move at the pace of your slowest moving parts, to reduce the intensity, to ground yourself in nature and also to create containment.

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And for me, prayer.

Helps a lot.

Here asking for support and also consent matters, especially with people who have not had any ayahuasca.

Now a short integration.

Practice when it comes to ancestral.

Healing There’s a moment that probably you have experienced where you have worked with ayahuasca and you feel ayahuasca is the answer to everything.

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Someone comes to say.

I have problems with my boyfriend, drink ayahuasca.

I am struggling with stress, drink ayahuasca.

I have trauma from the past, drink ayahuasca, and I know this place well because I lived there a little bit too long where every question seemed to have the same answer and everyone said I I sound like a broken record.

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Every answer felt like I needed to share about ayahuasca and everything was absolute.

And this is exactly where integration can quietly slip out of balance.

When there is a strong need to tell people in your family or everyone around you to explain everything, to convince others, or to use the insights that you just had to fix or to justify or correct.

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It’s rarely the medicine that is speaking.

And this took me a lot of time to understand because a facilitator in ayahuasca retreat said if you had a revelation and you feel you have to run out of this retreat and tell everyone or tell your family or tell your mom or tell your boyfriend, it’s usually not coming from the medicine.

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It’s coming from your ego.

And of course, I was sitting there really ready to just run and tell my friend about what their real problem is and my mom, why she needed to do ayahuasca.

And I felt it as a violation because I really felt that I needed to tell these certain people about what they needed to do to heal.

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And this can also be not only our ego, but our nervous system that hasn’t caught up yet with what has been opened.

So we haven’t actually integrated it for ourselves, but we want to pass it on to someone else.

So what helped me and what I now share with others is learning to separate what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

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I began to hold my experience as if it was placed in two different.

Balls.

One ball is mine.

It holds my emotions, my reactions, my patterns, my choices, my boundaries, and my behavior in the present moment.

This is where my personal responsibility lives, and this is also where integration lives.

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Our daily work.

It happens right here in this ball.

And then the other bowl holds what comes from the lineage from mom and dad or from friends or family or the world or politics.

And this second bowl is not something that I work on every single day.

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It’s not the first thing I look at when I get up in the morning.

It doesn’t get acted out and it doesn’t get turned into my identity.

It gets my deep respect.

It gets my prayer and it gets time to find its own shape and to move with that time when people are honest with themselves and not performing strength or trying to be impressive.

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Many discovered that only a portion, and in many integration circles, when people are really honest to say, maybe 20% of what I’m carrying is actually mine.

When you start realizing that a lot of what you’re sitting with right now actually belongs to that Otter bowl that doesn’t need your immediate attention, that won’t actually change or transform your life right now.

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It makes everything smaller and also safer, because this work is not an invitation to collapse under ancestral pain or the world, and it’s also not an invitation to reenact it.

And we’re definitely not having an invitation with the impossible task of healing an entire bloodline alone in a day, or in a retreat, or in a year.

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It’s only an invitation to release what was never yours to carry while taking full responsibility for what is right now.

And what I see a lot when we start doing this work is that people jump ahead of themselves and jump into this other bowl trying to fix things that are not right now being called to be worked on.

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What is your integration?

Homework is already on your path right now, and it’s personal and it’s only for you.

So I have to remind myself that before I do anything in the morning, I need to clean my bowl.

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I need to take care of me.

I need to respect me.

I need to express my truth and my gifts.

I need to make sure that my bowl is clean before I start putting all of my resources to the other bowl.

It’s only from the overflow of the first bowl that I have in my life that has to do with me in my life that I pour things into the second bowl from.

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Overflow.

Comes the commitment I have to all of the other work that I can be of service with.

Another thing that I love to have in my home is something that I call an ancestor altar.

It can be a small intentional space, A candle, a stone, a plant, something that anchors you to ayahuasca pictures of your favorite ancestors or representation of them.

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And this is about creating a daily relationship with respect, but also with support for that second bowl.

And you can even put that bowl there that represents your ancestors, that represents some of the things that your lineage is working through.

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With a daily prayer of our spirits and our allies and the ancestors of this land to please go and help them.

To please go and be of service.

And just to know that the deepest work is already happening and that you are not in control of all of this and that you can trust the spirits and yourself that everything will be OK at the end.

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I want to share a story also where I did the opposite of what I’m recommending right here.

And it’s an example on how not to approach ancestral healing.

Because sometimes the medicine can show you secrets in your lineage that can alter your life completely and also alter your understanding of your parents and where you come from.

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When you receive ancestral information or lineage information, it can also come in form of.

Secrets that has been hidden.

And that happened to me.

And if you have that experience, I really encourage you to walk slowly in an ayahuasca ceremony that I went to.

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Ayahuasca showed me a memory that I had completely forgotten.

I was 7 years old and I was in my third foster family, a foster family that was so lovely.

And I didn’t know who my biological dad was.

My biological mom had told me that he.

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Was an alcoholic.

So I had a new mom and dad that I loved, and I didn’t really care about this biological dad.

And then one day the phone rang.

And it was the time where you had to pick up the phone from the wall because I’m getting that old.

And I said, hi, my name is David.

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And the guy on the other side said, David, this is your dad, your biological dad.

And I just replied, oh, hello, dad.

And I remember my foster mom and dad in the living room looking up and starting to ask what was going on.

And suddenly I had a new dad on the phone and Ayahuasca took me back to this memory.

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And she said feel his energy.

And I remember how my awareness went into this memory and then left my body and went into the phone line as if I was in a Matrix movie.

And my attention went through his words, through the tone of his voice, and through the frequency of what he was transmitting.

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And I could feel the energy of his words, and I could feel how repulsed I was from his energy because it was not my energy.

And in that second, I knew that was not my biological dad.

I knew it in every cell in my body.

Ayahuasca didn’t have to tell me anything.

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And I said to ayahuasca, Oh my God, that’s not my dad.

The next day I was furious.

And I did something I don’t recommend anyone to do.

The day after the retreat, I woke up and I called my biological mom.

And I said, mom, I know for a fact that you lied to me about who’s my biological dad.

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And she answered, well how, how?

How do you know that?

And I said, because I worked for the shaman and a plant spear told me.

And I know you’re lying.

And she answered, oh shit.

And she said, well, OK, I never really told you the truth.

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I lied your entire life.

And finally, she admitted and said that she didn’t actually know his real name.

She just once met this beautiful darkish man when she was out on the city having a drink and she thought he was from Spain.

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He had curly hair, he was muscular, he had a beautiful smile.

And they had a one night stand.

And she was so embarrassed when she got pregnant that she didn’t want to say anything.

And that was that.

I knew now that my biological dad was someone else and it was not this guy that I never had any contact with and never wanted to have any contact with.

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So I went straight home to Norway and I took adna test of my mom and then I got the results.

Even though I was now living in Spain, because I felt so related to being from Spain, I didn’t have one even distant cousin from Spain.

My entire father lineage was from Palestine and my biological dad was 100% Palestinian from the Nazareth area.

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And when you have experiences like this with ayahuasca it is hard to explain how profound they are.

And I remember even asking ayahuasca.

Can you please show me where my dad is?

Is he alive, is he Palestine?

Is he in Norway?

And she literally showed me a physical place in Norway that I many years later found out is probably where he actually lives.

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But I’ve been unable to get an answer for him so far, even though I sent him a message.

But it just.

Underlines and underscores, if that’s the right word, that this type of work is miraculous.

Ayahuasca is the medicine of miracles.

But it also taught me something really important for integration.

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We need to be very cautious.

I need to be cautious and careful when I bring deep truths to other people, especially truths we received in ceremony, as if we are an ambassador for that truth or for the lineage.

Because the first question is this not what you know?

The first question is.

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What you can do with what you know and what you can do on your end that belongs to you and your path at this moment.

And sometimes that is the truth that needs to be held privately.

Sometimes we need to digest it.

Sometimes we need to let it mature inside of us before we speak it.

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And I always recommend taking the time to digesting it and speaking with people that are more advanced and gone deeper on this journey.

So not what I did not calling the day after the ceremony and said you lied.

Because it become very reactive and it can create a bit of an explosion that makes integration very difficult.

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Because when we start doing this work, a lot of people around us will not understand.

They don’t understand how we received the information and they won’t understand why we trust this information.

And even more painfully, sometimes the people around us that we love them might not be able to receive the truth and information.

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That we have.

So what I feel is important to know when we receive information like this, even if we don’t understand it at that moment, is that Ayahuasca is planting a seed.

Nothing she does is random.

It’s a multidimensional ancient spirit we’re working with.

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So we received a seed that we’re going to grow with, maybe not only for this year, maybe it is for this entire lifetime.

There’s a teacher here, so before you take action, find out what is the teacher actually teaching you.

Find out what is the seed.

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For.

And before you start planting the seed in someone else’s garden, saying they need to grow it and carry the fruit of the seed, plant it in your own garden first.

Let it grow inside your body and be embodied.

Let it grow inside your nervous system.

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Let it grow inside your own discernment.

And then you can offer someone else an apple from your own tree.

I always say when people tell me I need to bring my mother to an ayahuasca tree, she needs this healing to go and do their own healing first.

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Because when people see the fruits that comes from this work, they will feel the calling if it’s right for them.

But please don’t plant your seed and someone else’s property, even if it’s your own family, before you have been able to grow that seed within your own consciousness first.

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That’s what I got for you this week, my friend.

And if you feel called to go deeper into your own integration work, Ioffer Tree Journeys.

I lead an integration circle for people walking this path with ayahuasca and I just completed finishing a six month integration circle with therapists, coaches, retreat facilitators and those that are going deep on this journey.

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You can sign up at davidvox.com and when you’re ready for the second journey, that’s the celebration circle.

It is 6 months of celebrating your life and your gifts.

And the first reaction many people have is spy on earth.

Would I want to do that?

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And the answer is quite simple.

How you get there is how you will be there.

If you are constantly healing and hustling and hiding and performing or proving, do you think that once you arrive?

There.

You will suddenly feel free because I see that waiting to celebrate until after you achieve the new job, had more ayahuasca, or fixed your relationship is not the answer.

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Celebration is not the reward, It’s the rehearsal.

It’s the daily act of self respect, self honor and gratitude.

It’s the integration of who you already are.

And when you learn to celebrate who you are now, every future version of you arrives already.

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Welcome.

When you learn to honor the ordinary, to bow to your own brilliance, to see your gifts and story as sacred, something inside of you shifts.

You stop chasing your life and you start inhabiting it.

You start living it, and every other part of your world begins to rise to meet you.

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Your relationship, your voice, your joy, even your income.

Because when you live in celebration, you attract a.

Life that celebrates you back.

And the six month celebration circle is built for that. 24 facets, 24 live mirrors.

Every call shows you a different angle of who you are, what you project, what you hide, what you’re not seeing.

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And it ends with the celebration ritual where 20 mirrors reflects your gifts.

Back to you.

Your only job is to receive and maybe for the first time ever, you will see your full faceted, multi dimensional, gifted, abundant self.

And then there’s the third journey, Sacred impact.

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And this is the one for leaders in the transformational and spiritual field who have this great vision, depth and sensitivity, but they struggle to bring their service into tangible.

Form here on Earth.

I’ve guided and coached over 5000 leaders in the last 15 years, helping them create platforms and offerings that comes from a real alignment, something that honors their integrity, their sensitivity, their pacing.

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And for six months, we meet as a group of 10.

We bring your platform, your ideas, your service, your medicine into structure, into form, and into a rhythm that actually grows the tree you’ve been cultivating and produces the fruit you’ve been trying to.

Reach for years.

It’s planting these seeds in a container where they can grow and bringing it into resonance and clarity, and then watching the fruits of the sacred work manifest in a way that finally feels true to who you are.

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You can find more information about these three journeys on Davidvox com.

See you next week, my friend.