0:00
When you think back on your ayahuasca ceremony, what comes to mind first?
Was it a difficult process or the part of your life that has not changed as much as you hoped it would?
Or do you think about the gifts, not only the visions, the messages, or the moments inside ceremony that felt extraordinary?
0:21
I mean the gifts that actually came home with you, the part of you that became more honest, the courage you might not have seen before, the creativity, sensitivity, trust, or capacity for love that began returning and expanding.
0:39
Because we can easily become so focused on what is still wounded or missing that we stop noticing what has already healed and returned.
We can become so committed to transformation that we forget to recognize the transformation that has already taken place.
0:55
And many of us, we keep running long after we have crossed the finish line because trauma or the mind is still telling us there must be something else to fix or understand or comprehend.
Before we are allowed.
To rest and receive and celebrate and trust who we are becoming.
1:14
Sometimes the gift is already here.
It's just waiting to believe.
I met so many people who have done this deep, profound work, and yet they are starving at the buffet of their own abundance because their attention remains fixed on what is missing.
1:33
They have learned how to confront the shadow but not how to hold the light, how to honor what has already returned, how to remain present with love and joy and creativity, essentiality, money, energy, without immediately consuming it, dispersing it, or throwing it away.
1:52
So they keep searching for the next ceremony or experience, because they were never taught how to integrate and cultivate what is already alive within them.
And without this practice, even the most beautiful gifts that we receive can become something that we briefly touch or consume or lose.
2:12
An integration.
The path and the process of wholeness.
It asks something more of us.
It asks us to give that light a place in our ordinary life to protect it.
It asks us to give that gift, that light, a place in our ordinary life, to protect it, to practice it, and to make choices from it.
2:36
This week I also created a beautiful 35 page workbook that explores these gifts from 12 dimensions of your life.
Please download it before continuing with this episode because it can help you recognize where these gifts are already present and also where they're asking to be integrated.
2:53
And for those of you who feel ready to explore this work inside a committed community, a new sacred integration journey begins in September, where 10 people will go on a journey with me over 5 months and where they will truly learn to celebrate and to receive and to hold their light, their potential and see themselves clearly through multiple medicine mirrors.
3:15
And we also have an upcoming Ayahuasca integration retreat focus on integrating through 10 different modalities with grandmother Ayahuasca over three nights.
And it starts on September 25th.
You can find more details in the episode description.
But before we dive into this episode, let's take a moment and think.
3:35
Back to your last ayahuasca journey.
What has the medicine?
Already.
Given you, let's dive in.
4:17
As you started this path with ayahuasca, you are probably already aware that receiving a gift in ceremony is not the same as knowing how to open it, how to hold it, and how to keep it present in your own life.
The medicine may show you or open something inside of you, but your life has to become capable of carrying what was open.
4:39
And this is what we're exploring today.
And I created a workbook called The 12 Gifts of iOS Integration to move through this episode with you.
Download it before we move any further.
The link is in the episode description at the top, and you do not need to complete every single page while you listen.
4:55
Keep it beside you, pause when something touches you, and write when you recognize something in yourself.
The book is not asking you to find 12 new things to fix or heal.
It is helping you recognize what is already alive, what still needs cultivation, and what is now asking to move through you and into your world, into your life, so that it becomes a part of it.
5:19
Now we all know that our delicious minds are naturally drawn towards what hurts and what feels unresolved and what still needs our attention.
Our To Do List.
And on the healing path, that tendency can become even stronger.
We start searching for the next wound, the next blockage shadows, the next part of our self that still needs to heal or be held.
5:41
And yes, as our awareness expands, we often also become more conscious of what we have been carrying.
We can see patterns within us more clearly.
We feel emotions more deeply.
The shadow can become more visible because we finally have the capacity to meet it.
5:59
But there's also a.
Challenge here because we carry this natural negative bias within us and we also need to practice and almost create a ritual in a ceremony every single day to recognize the beauty, to recognize the joy, to recognize the gift and the gratitude that is already within us and already on our life path waiting to be recognized and received.
6:22
As we move through these 12 gifts together, we're going on a small journey that touch on 4 deeper movements.
The first movement is returning to yourself.
This is where you begin reclaiming what survival or fear or shame or responsibility or self abandonment pushed away your healing, your inner child, your body, your truth.
6:42
The second movement is learning how to hold what has returned.
Because a part of you can return in ceremony, but you still need to create that inner and outer capacity to integrate it and to keep it alive.
So this movement takes us through self love, structure, creativity, and joy.
6:59
And the third movement is belonging to life.
This is where healing moves beyond the isolated self.
You begin exploring how you belong with other people.
Maybe it's a new community.
Maybe go deeper within the community you already have.
Or with nature, or with spirit, or with God, or with something greater than your own mind.
7:19
And the fourth movement is bringing the gifts into the world because eventually what you have received begins asking for expression.
And this is so fascinating.
So much of my work is helping people express their anger, their voice, their gifts.
And as we go deeper, that expression starts to become service.
7:38
And that's why I'm here with you right now.
It transforms into your work, into your contribution.
It becomes a life that reflects your deepest, truest self.
So we're not just moving through 12 disconnected ideas today, we're moving through a journey.
You return to yourself.
7:55
You learn to hold what has returned.
You begin belonging more fully to life.
And then you create from what you have received.
So my friend, take a deep breath and let your attention move away from what is missing for a moment and ask yourself what is already here.
8:13
Let's dive into the first movement of returning to yourself.
This movement is about really reclaiming your own life, because before you build something new, before you serve anyone else, before you try to become more spiritual.
You have to.
8:29
Return to what is already true within you, because trauma can separate you from yourself.
It can fragment our awareness, making you feel separate from your body, your needs, your instincts, your feelings, your voice, your intuition.
So you begin living from what is required of you, rather than what is.
8:45
True for you?
You learn how to perform, to protect, to please, to disappear, and to stay in control.
And then one day, perhaps in an ayahuasca ceremony, something underneath all of that begins speaking again.
A feeling, a memory, a truth.
A part of your life that never actually disappeared, but had simply been waiting for you to become safe enough to meet it.
9:08
Your slowest or truest moving parts.
And this is where we begin.
The first gift is healing.
Healing is an attitude towards life, not a destination.
And for many of us, the healing pot becomes so focused on the small puzzle pieces of trauma and patterns and processes and old stories that it becomes difficult for us to take a step back and see the whole picture.
9:33
The big masterpiece that we already are.
You notice the trigger that is still there, The relationship that still hurts, the emotion that you struggle to hold, and you forget to look at the person that you have already become and today.
9:49
You are allowed.
To just pause and look at this masterpiece of who you are right now.
You are allowed to see the strength and the tenderness and the vulnerability and the courage and the wisdom that has grown through everything that you have lived.
You can look at how you relate, how you feel, how you speak and how you move through the world maybe differently than before.
10:12
And you can also recognise the distance that you have already travelled.
My favorite quote is it's not the mountaintop you stand on, but it's where you started walking.
Maybe give yourself an applause from where you started your journey and where you are right now.
10:29
And you can also speak directly to the universe here.
Universe, please let me see the masterpiece of who I am.
Show me what I have not yet recognized and surprised me because I know good things are coming.
The gift of healing often becomes visible when something that once was frozen or stagnant or fragmented begins to move again.
10:50
There is more peace, aliveness, more expression, more of you available to life for me.
When you also have deeply healed, you begin to walk on this path with a lot of humility, self honour and self-expression.
Humility allows you to meet yourself honestly.
11:07
You no longer need to pretend that nothing effects you or that you have everything figured out.
You become willing to listen to your body, to your emotions and also to your life and to the Great Spirit.
You can recognise your wounds without making them the whole truth of who you are.
11:23
And self honour begins to change the way you live.
You start respecting your own limits.
You listen when something feels wrong.
You allow yourself.
The need to rest, for truth, for connection, for space, and you become more careful with your energy and your body and your heart and self-expression allows what is a lie within you to move outwards.
11:47
You may speak more openly now than you did before.
Maybe you are creating more freely, or you share parts of your story that you once carried with fear or shame.
You may feel safer allowing people to know you.
Maybe your truth no longer has to remain trapped inside of you.
12:03
Healing is such a wonderful gift, and it can reorganize across your entire life.
Maybe you're more open with your friends.
Maybe you have welcomed new people into your life that you feel you can meet more honestly.
Or maybe your relationships feels healthier now because you no longer abandoned yourself to keep the peace.
12:23
All of these are expressions of healing.
Healing gives you more space inside your own life.
You may still feel triggered, but the trigger does not hold you for that long.
You may still feel fear, but the fear no longer makes every decision.
Or you may still hear the old story that you once told yourself, but you do not automatically believe every word.
12:44
There is more space between what you feel and what you do, and that space is a real gift.
Healing can also become visible in how you receive.
Maybe you can receive Care now or a compliment without wondering what it will cost you or rejecting it.
13:00
Maybe you can receive love without trying to earn it.
Maybe you can receive support without believing that needing help makes you weak or vulnerable.
Sometimes healing is simply the growing capacity to allow the goodness to reach you.
When you open the healing section of this workbook, spend some time with this question.
13:20
What has already healed that I have not fully recognized?
And then just look gently across your life.
Notice how you speak to yourself.
Notice who are the people that you have chosen to be around you.
Notice what you tolerate and what you no longer tolerate.
13:36
Notice what you feel, receive, and express.
Notice how you return to yourself after something difficult.
Where does your life flow more easily now?
Where are you more honest, more relaxed?
Where you're less afraid?
Where do you feel you have more choice and where are you more fully yourself?
13:55
And please don't wait until you feel completely healed before honouring the healing that is already here.
Whatever stage you feel that you're at, the fact that you're on this path means so much.
It.
Speaks to the openness and your willingness to go deeper.
14:11
Something within you wanted to meet what has been hidden, what was blocking you.
Something within you believe that there was more freedom, love and life possible, and you may not see that entire flower, that entire garden blossoming yet.
But if you.
14:27
Stop and look closely, you may already see some petals along your paw.
This reminds me of one of my favorite stories.
There once was a old woman living in the forest by herself and she had two wooden buckets that she used to go to collect water every day, and that walk took her several hours.
14:48
One hour to go to the river and one hour to go back and she had one new wooden bucket that didn't leak any water and 1 old wooden bucket that was full of holes.
And this old wooden bucket felt so bad because every single day it saw this woman walk for an entire hour to fill the water into this bucket and then when she came back only half of the water was there.
15:14
One day the old bucket spoke to the woman and said, I am so sorry my friend.
I see how hard you work to fill and pour all of this water and then to walk for hours and when you come back only half of the water is there where the woman responded.
15:31
I am so grateful for you all Bucket, because thanks to you and all the water that you spill, there are flowers everywhere on my paw.
So my walk is filled with beauty thanks to you.
Maybe you see some petals and flowers on your path already, and maybe some of those petals and flowers can be a conversation you handle differently.
15:55
A boundary you were able to hold, a friendship that now feels safer.
A moment when your mind became quiet, or a tear that you allow to fall, or a day where you just felt more like yourself.
These moments show you that the flowering has already begun and then you can look beneath the healing itself.
16:15
What part of you was it that wanted to heal?
Where did an enquiry come from?
What moved you from thinking about an ayahuasca ceremony to actually entering it?
What part of you was willing to trust the medicine, the mystery and the possibility that your life could completely change?
16:34
You did not simply think your way onto this path.
Something deeper within you recognized it.
Perhaps you experienced that it was your soul or your ancestor, your intuition or a deeper consciousness within you would every language that fell true, there was an intelligence inside of you that knew where to turn or where to return.
16:56
And that intelligence is still right here, right now.
And if this intelligence is within you that could guide you on such a profound path of healing, maybe you can give that part a little bit more space.
Maybe you can thank that part of you for bringing you here.
17:13
Maybe you can also allow it to guide one part of your life today.
And what I love to do is to place the hand on my heart and to really feel what has already been allowed to happen.
And then I say thank you.
You brave, beautiful soul.
You listened.
17:29
I'm not the best listener, but you listened.
You opened.
You allowed yourself to feel.
You gave life permission to move through you again, so I'm honouring that and I'm honouring that part of you and the healing that you received is.
Precious, so cherish it.
17:45
Let it nourish you.
Let it enter your relationship, your choices, your creativity and the way you speak to yourself.
Because the whole world is searching for this fruit.
The whole world is lusting and kneading these flowers and you have already tasted it.
18:02
You have already been growing it in your own garden.
So let it grow.
All the way through the way you live.
The second gift is the inner child.
Because as we continue on this ayahuasca path, eventually you will meet your inner child.
And the inner child is often spoken about by the shamans as a living part that is still inside of you.
18:24
A presence of innocence within you that remembers what happened, what was missing, and what it had to protect.
But your inner child is not only the part of you that was wounded.
Your inner child is also your divine blueprint, the original frequency of who you wear before the conditioning, before you learn how to perform, protect, disappear or become pleasing or become hard.
18:49
Before the world told you which part of yourself were acceptable and which parts needed to be hidden.
Your inner child is also your aliveness, your imagination, your awe, your instinct, your freedom, your capacity to become completely absorbed in what you love, your ability to feel joy without needing to justify it.
19:11
This is the gift so many are looking for, but in the wrong place.
And it's not only about what happened to the child within you, but what that child is now bringing back into your life.
Perhaps you already feel more expressive, more playful, more creative, more willing to follow what excites you, following your highest excitement.
19:33
Or perhaps something inside of you has begun to move without being pushed or managed or turned into a performance.
You may find moments where you are no longer trying to become someone else.
You're simply alive, present.
You're enjoying yourself.
19:49
Maybe you're just sitting by yourself and having the best time ever.
There is no character to maintain.
There's no shield between you and the moment.
That is often where the inner child begins to appear.
For me, one of the most revealing moments came when I asked ayahuasca if I could meet my inner child.
20:05
And I expected a very loving reunion.
And instead I saw my inner child running away from me.
And I was so shocked.
And I asked my inner child, why are you running away from me?
And then I realised my inner child was scared of me.
The voice I used inside myself was judge, mental, super critical and angry, and I had become many of the things that that child within me was already afraid of.
20:31
And I was asking this child to come closer while treating myself in a way that made closeness feel unsafe and that made a big shift for me.
I began to understand that meeting her in a child is not only about finding them and locating them on a spiritual GPS, it's about becoming someone that they would want to come home to.
20:52
Now my inner child gets to dance with me in ceremony, gets to sing with me in ceremony, gets to make songs, get to create children's books.
My inner child gets to enter worlds of imagination and have those worlds honoured rather than dismissed and criticized.
21:09
And that is the gift the inner child has brought into my life, the return of the parts of me that was never meant to disappear.
And it's so interesting within a child because it also represents the part of us that never changes, like the obsessions or interest.
The part of our self that just keeps staying, keeps being alive.
21:30
And your inner child might be returning to you through different doors.
You may know this more creativity or more movement, more curiosity, more awe, more gratitude.
And you may feel less willing to live only through duty or the To Do List or pressure or expectation.
21:47
You may feel drawn towards what makes you feel alive again, even when it does not serve a obvious purpose that makes money or makes everyone else applaud you.
The inner child does not always ask for something it will achieve.
The inner child asks whether it is alive.
22:03
Wherever it is real, whatever, there is joy in it, whatever your whole being wants to move towards it.
And this doesn't mean becoming careless or abandoning responsibility, even though can be delicious to do so.
There is this space in between where there is enough space for our inner child to express, to be held, to be heard, to be honoured.
22:28
For me, when I'm deeply connected to the inner child and to this part of myself, I find myself always saying, at the end of the day, this was the best day ever.
Not because it was perfect, but because I was inside that day.
I enjoyed it, I was there, I showed up.
22:43
There was connection, there was music, there was freedom.
There was enough room for me to be alive.
And this is how I know my inner child was not locked away in some corner within myself.
My inner child was living through me.
So I got to be this loving dad that created this space for him to live through me, but also to tend to the structure that makes that life safe to live.
23:07
And when you open the Inner child section of your workbook, do not begin to only look at what your inner child did not receive.
Ask yourself what has already returned?
How has my inner child already returned to me?
Where do I feel more alive now?
Where do I feel more expressive?
23:25
What am I creating now that I didn't create before?
What do I enjoy without needing to explain it?
Where do you feel free from performance or characters?
What part of you has started to move again and look for the places where life has become lighter, more honest.
23:42
Look for what comes naturally when you feel.
Safe.
Look at what you're.
Drawn towards when nobody else is watching.
These might be some of the most purest expression of the person you were before.
You learn to abandon yourself.
So you can also ask yourself a deeper question.
23:58
How can I become this safe, eternal parent for myself?
How can I speak to myself in a loving way?
And this is where I had to do a lot of integration work when I asked myself, how do I speak to myself when I make a mistake?
How do I respond when I'm tired and afraid and overwhelmed?
24:17
How do I make room for joy?
Like, has joy ever been in your calendar?
Have you ever put into your calendar one hour for joy, one hour for gratitude, one hour for happiness, one hour for rest, one hour for just masturbating wildly?
24:33
I might have to edit that one out, but just one hour for enjoying life and not just doing or performing life.
Do you feel that you have space or that you can listen and something within you wants to play and create and rest or explore?
Your inner child doesn't need another person inside of you who is constantly disappointed or critical.
24:54
Your inner child needs protection, tenderness, patience, delight, and the more safety you create within yourself, the more this part of you can come forward.
And there's a misunderstanding here that, OK, I just have to let go of all obligations and all structures and all the things that I need to do to manage my life so that my inner child can come forward.
25:13
But that would not be a safe home for anyone.
If you can create the safe structure so that your inner child field there is space to move around without, suddenly there's an invoice that just floors the building, or suddenly there's a fire that burns everything down, then that inner child can come out to play.
25:31
So as the loving eternal parent, we have to create and cultivate that structure, but also the space for them to move freely.
And the beauty of our inner child is that it gets to bring our original life force, our unique frequency that the divine created within us.
25:48
It gets to bring that juicy, delicious energy into the present moment.
And your work is to recognize it, to honour it, to protect it, and to build a life where that part of you no longer has to run away or hide.
And for me, one of the closest thing I come to a cheat code on the healing path is to learn to love your inner child.
26:07
To honour what they love, to protect what is sacred to them, to give them the right and the space to play, to speak, to create, to move and to be seen.
Because the more you allow that child to live true you, the less your life will be ruled only by survival or obligation and fear.
26:23
You begin to feel happiness bubbling within you.
That was always natural.
Not because everything became perfect, but because more of you is finally here to live it.
Our inner child.
Is the key to.
Our ultimate aliveness to the parts of us that are most aligned and that are also completely innocent.
26:43
So if you have noticed any parts of your inner child showing up in your life, honour that gift.
It might be the most important gifts under the Christmas tree of healing.
So open them up and enjoy the magic that returns.
The third gift is the body, and this is such a deep one, especially for me because for many of us who has been trying to heal, we spent way too much time in the mind.
27:11
And I'm actually getting allergic now to all these different spiritual mind concepts and strategies.
Because we might understand and you might understand your patterns in a beautiful way.
You may also know the psychological and spiritual language for all of it.
27:27
You may also know where your trauma came from and why you respond the way you do.
But then, when you're asked to feel what's inside your body right now, maybe you don't have an answer.
Or you may not recognise the tiredness that you have until you're completely exhausted.
27:44
Or you may not recognize a boundary until you are already overwhelmed or so angry you're just bursting into flames.
Or you may not know wherever the feeling in your body is, fear or desire or truth or shame or excitement, or all of them moving together.
28:00
And when you've spent the years leaving the body, returning to it can feel very intense.
That's like tree cups of ayahuasca.
So many of us crave some assistance like coffee or alcohol or scrolling on the phone just to numb the alarm to a livable numb state.
28:16
And the body is where we get to meet everything.
You cannot think your way through.
Your body is not only carrying pain.
Your body also carries instinct and pleasure and rhythm and sensuality and movement and.
Truth.
So your body.
Knows when something opens you and when something makes you contract it.
28:34
Knows when you need to rest, even when your mind has created 10 reasons to keep working.
It knows when a yes is alive and when a yes is being performed because you're afraid to disappoint someone.
This weekend I received such a beautiful gift through my body in ceremony.
28:50
After very deep work doing a plante ETA, I felt like I was more inside my body than ever before, but without any fear and anxiety.
I danced through the entire night like a child.
I wasn't monitoring myself, I wasn't performing, I wasn't trying to create an experience or be a facilitator.
29:10
I was just simply letting life move through me.
And what touched me most was realizing that my body still knew how to do that, beneath anxiety and the vigilance beneath everything, and had learnt to hold.
The body still remembered freedom.
29:26
It knew how to liberate itself, and this is where my integration became really real.
The gift was not only that I experienced freedom for a few nights.
The question is, whatever.
I can build a relationship with my body that allows more of that freedom to remain.
Can I listen to my body before it has to scream?
29:44
Can I protect my sleep?
Can I move the energy that needs movement?
Can I stop demanding that my body carry environments and relationships and habits and pressures that always pulls it back into fear?
Because when you reach this section of the workbook, you don't have to answer from your mind.
30:00
You can pause and feel your feet on the floor and.
Feel your breathing.
Feel your.
Chest and your stomach and your tooth and ask what is it that my body has been trying to communicate?
And then wait.
You don't have to interrupt.
30:16
You don't have to interrogate, you don't have to force an answer.
Let the sensation come before an explanation.
The body does not need another person controlling it in the name of healing.
It only wants a loving relationship with you.
And Oh my, does the body have a lot of treasures and gifts and we cannot expand and heal beyond our body.
30:39
All of that healing has to be integrated with the body.
And maybe you already recognise so many of those gifts from yourself.
Maybe you have healed physical illnesses or challenges that you had within your body before.
So many of the people that I met, they stopped taking different pharmaceutical medicines to treat depressions or anxiety because they can trust their body, they can trust themselves.
31:04
And maybe you also have that evidence, those gifts waiting to be celebrated where you are in a deeper union with your own body.
The 4th gifts we're going to move through is our truth.
Ayahuasca can show you something so clearly that you wonder how you avoided seeing it before.
31:23
She is almost like Agps for our own truth.
And you also may see a truth about a relationship or your work or your gifts or your power.
And sometimes that revelation can feel like freedom.
And you think, OK, now I understand.
Now I see everything.
Everything is going to change now.
31:40
But then you return to your life and you discover that seeing the truth and living the truth are two very different things.
One is the door or a portal into this new reality.
Because you can know that a relationship is costing you your integrity and still remain inside of it.
31:57
You can know that a certain environment keeps your body in survival and you continue to adapt yourself or to tolerate it.
Or you can know, like me, what you want to create in your life, and then you spend another year waiting for confidence or permission.
32:13
And if you have, like me, received the same message and ceremony many times, it's because the medicine is no longer trying to make you understand it.
It is waiting for you to respond.
In the beginning, ayahuasca will help you get on the bicycle of life and then guide you so that you keep your balance.
32:32
But eventually, she's going to ask you to get on that bike yourself, to find your own balance and to go into your life on your own.
And truth becomes integrated when it changes a decision.
That's us entering the portal, and that doesn't mean we act impulsively.
32:50
Truth needs discernment more than anything else.
Truth might require preparation or support or timing, or a very deep, careful, loving conversation.
And in your workbook, there's a direct question for your truth.
What are you still pretending not to know?
33:07
And that question may sting a little bit, but please stay with it.
And then write that truth in one clean sentence.
Not the entire history or the explanation or the spiritual stuff around it.
But honestly, what do you know that you're pretending not to know?
33:25
And what is the next honest action?
What is it that this portal is inviting you into?
What is on the other side?
And maybe that action is not leaving a certain thing today, or maybe it is speaking to someone or creating support or setting a date.
33:40
But let that truth begin entering the architecture of your life in all your dimensions.
Because the gift of truth is not only that you can see it clearly.
The gift is that you create this inner and outer alignment so that the inside matches the outside, where your flow can flow from your heart and into your life.
33:59
And another way also to recognise the.
Gift of your truth that is already.
Showing up in your life is also starting to see where you're no longer sacrificing your truth in relationship, in work, in your inner dialogue.
I always see my truth as these tiny feathers.
And I know from my own experience, if you listen to this podcast that sacrificing my truth or sacrificing a feather, or lying to myself, or denying or abandoning myself, the result is always the same.
34:27
I will feel like a plucked bird or a plucked chicken without any feathers, unable to fly, unable to lean on my own grace and trust myself.
Because we so often speak about self love and self trust, but it starts with truth.
Without our truth, there are no wings to spread.
34:44
There are no feathers to grow.
There are no wind beneath our wings.
So no matter what your truth is, just know that it's sacred.
Then we're moving into movement #2 learning to hold what has returned.
Because in ceremonies, we all get to touch something profoundly filled with love, light, and awe.
35:05
Maybe you touched freedom, creativity, truth, spiritual connection, connection to your ancestors.
And the question is not if the gift appeared.
The question is, whatever your life knows how to hold it, because opening is not holding.
35:22
You can open your heart in ceremony and then close it again.
The moment intimacy becomes uncertain, you can feel a creative force moving through you and lose it beneath distractions.
You can experience profound peace and connection and then return to life.
35:38
Structured around urgency, this movement is about building that capacity, inner capacity and outer capacity.
The ability to receive something good without immediately losing it, giving it away, consuming it, dispersing it, or abandoning it.
35:54
And this takes us to gift #5 self love.
And I'm not speaking about the mental concept of self love, the affirmations of self love.
I'm speaking about the relationship you maintain with yourself day-to-day, also when you're not.
Proud of yourself.
When you make a mistake.
36:11
When you're afraid, when you feel shame, when someone disappoints you, when you don't know what comes next, what happens inside you, then do you remain present with yourself, or do you become the next person to reject, punish, humiliate, judge, or abandoned yourself?
36:28
This is where.
Our self love becomes something real, something tangible, because you may feel unconditional love in the ceremony and you may experience yourself as the sacred being that you are, and you may understand and nothing essential within you is broken.
And then life gives you a very ordinary moment where you fail or react or disappoint yourself or someone else, or you lose your way, and that's the moment.
36:54
The gift asks to be lived.
And I'm sure if you look at your life, you have evidence of that gift being opened and held.
Maybe you have many examples of that now.
That you did not pay attention to before.
Where this gift has been opened and utilized and you get to honour yourself all the ways this gift has appeared in your life.
37:16
And self love is not something that you build from nothing.
It is something that is already living within you.
A lot of people are looking for it, but quietly.
This part of you is.
Just waiting to be recognised.
The gift is not out there to be.
Earned.
It is already within you, in places maybe you have never even named.
37:35
Most of us, we look at self love as if it's a missing ingredient.
I am looking for self love.
I'm reading about self love as if it is a destination to arrive at, as if one.
Day we'll just simply wake up and love ourselves fully formed.
Done, Infenito.
37:52
But this isn't an arrival, it's a process.
And even more than that, it's an attitude towards life itself, towards your life.
No relationship that we have is set in stone.
Relationships are dynamic, they shift, they have new chapters, they expand, they grow, and sometimes they complete themselves and they close.
38:10
Your relationship with yourself is no different.
It is always evolving, always expanding and sometimes contracting.
So let yourself be a beginner in the ways that you love yourself.
Explore this territory the way a child explore their first summer holiday.
38:26
In a new.
Place wide eyed, curious, and in no rush to master it.
I know also that you're already a pro at this.
You already have evidence all around you that love has been a driving force, not the absence of it.
And when self love matures, it knows how to hold both.
38:43
The ones that says this mattered, Oh I need to face this and I'm not going to abandon myself while I do.
That sentence alone is also evidence for a love that has grown up.
It no longer has to choose between facing something hard and staying loyal to itself.
38:58
It can hold both, and that holding is also a gift.
But there is also deeper root beneath all of this, and this is where the real recognition begins.
Many people say I can't love myself, and what they mean many times underneath it is that it's hard to love someone that I don't trust, or that I haven't forgiven.
39:19
And sometimes that someone is you.
We don't love people that we haven't forgiven, not fully.
And when we love someone, we trust them.
We feel the truth in them.
We believe they meant well even when they failed.
So self love asks the same of you towards yourself.
39:35
Not a blind approval.
Trust, the kind that only comes also after forgiveness.
So for me, self love is forgiveness.
It's a deepening in humility and honour.
Humility because you stop needing to have been perfect.
To deserve your own.
Trust and honour because you finally treat your own history the way you would treat someone you respected.
39:56
Self love also shows up as courage, and you already have evidence of this because you've tried ayahuasca.
We were going deeper with yourself, sitting with what you find there even when it's really uncomfortable.
Even in a ceremony with ayahuasca where there is nowhere left to hide from yourself, that is one of the clearest proof that love is there.
40:16
You don't go looking closely at yourself for someone you don't love.
Love is in the building already, and love is what guides you down and back up again.
And it is easy for us to find 1000 things we don't love about ourselves in our lives, especially if that's where we've been trained to look.
40:34
Most of us where.
So we can also try the opposite.
We can flip the script.
We can journal about 1000 things that you do love about yourself and about the life reflecting you back.
A sunset that stopped you midstep.
A beach walk in the silence.
40:52
A forest hide with nothing to fix, a person that makes you laugh like a child every time you see them.
None of these things are separate from you.
They are what your life looks like when you are the one who let them in, who hold it with presence.
41:09
So look for where this love and this forgiveness are already present in you, and it can show up really quietly as a boundary.
You finally spoke even once, without needing to earn the right to say it.
Maybe it's in the anger or sadness you let yourself feel without adding any shame or guilt on top of it.
41:27
Maybe in a moment where you stop rehearsing an old mistake as proof of who you are now.
Or maybe it's in the courage that took you deeper into yourself instead of further away.
Or in nature, in sunsets, in mountains and 1000 quiet things you already love that are already loving you back.
41:47
Self love is not something you prove through these affirmation.
It becomes visible in how you live and act and love towards yourself, especially when loving yourself has a cost and in the quiet moment you finally forgave what you once couldn't.
I love staying in the process of forgiveness and say I forgive myself.
42:07
I.
Truly forgive myself, and because I forgive myself, I trust myself.
And because I trust myself, I can love myself.
The 6th gift we're going to touch upon is structure.
This is not something a lot of people talk about in the spiritual community, and it might not sound like the most mystical gift, but without structure, we can't hold the love.
42:30
And love without containment and boundaries can be chaos and destruction and fragmentation.
And plenty of our mystical gifts, they just disappear into thin air.
You may receive the vision of the work you're here to create, but if there's no time in your week for that work, that vision slowly becomes another memory.
42:49
You may reconnect with your body, but if your day remains organized around exhaustion and urgency and other people's demands, that relationship cannot deepen.
There is no soil for the roots, and you might experience profound creativity, but without repetition and discipline and completion, that energy remains scattered.
43:09
Structure is how you tell the gift.
There is a place for you here.
There is a.
Room for you in my house.
Because many of us, we know how to survive darkness.
We know how to function through chaos.
Maybe you know how to move through financial pressures, emotional instability, uncertainty and pain.
43:27
So your system knows how to do this.
It has been practicing this for years.
But can you hold the light?
Can you hold peace without becoming restless?
Can you hold love without testing it?
Can you hold money without finding a reason to release it?
Can you hold creative power without scattering it into 10 new ideas?
43:45
Can you hold joy, visibility, purpose, responsibility, and success?
Sometimes the capacity to hold something good is less developed within us than the capacity to survive and hold something painful.
This is why structure is so sacred.
A healthy structure is not punishment.
44:03
It's not you becoming your own prison guard.
It is protection.
It is devotion to the sacred parts of us and our potential that sometimes needs to take the form as discipline because a river needs banks if it's going to move a direction, and a garden needs tending if it's going to remain alive and healthy.
44:23
And your gifts, your potential, your energy needs, boundaries, rituals, routines, and follow through and completion.
In the structure section of your workbook, you're asked what gift have you received but not yet built structure around?
And just choose one, not all of them, because maybe your creativity has returned, but what hour protects it?
44:46
Maybe your body is asking for care.
What daily rhythm supports it?
Maybe you've found a deeper spiritual connection now, but what practice keeps that relationship alive outside of ceremony?
Create one structure and commit for it long enough to discover what it can hold.
45:03
Make it reliable because structure is our devotion made visible not only to ourselves, but with the life that we are here to live.
I just made an image.
For my phone as a screensaver that says before the world demands anything of you do something for an hour that still matters to you in 20 years and I can share it as an image in the podcast script on the website.
45:29
If you want to borrow it.
For me, creating that space for my creativity and my songs has been instrumental and it also taps into the strings of me that are the strings that feels like my my spirit G spot.
45:45
It's what really tingles in the ceremony that makes me so joyful and happy to sing and to dance and to share my creativity.
So I create a space for that.
There is a room for that in my home right now and I enter that room first thing in the morning to bring that energy to life.
46:02
And it's so funny to see also how activation of 1 energy also impacts every other area of my life.
Feel free to try this out.
I went through a big period of my life before I understood that responsibility and structure is actually what's required to create that safety around me.
46:22
That also creates freedom so that I'm free to move and play and have fun and not always worry and stress about where the next paycheck or client is coming from.
So if structure is calling you, it's a beautiful gift on the integration path and you will learn so much about yourself.
46:42
The 7th give this creativity.
If you have lived in survival or stress or in the mental dimension for most of your life, so much of your energy is used to anticipate or control or protect and respond.
And there may be very little life force left for imagination, but imagination is such a powerful creative force.
47:04
And maybe you met it again when something started to heal.
Suddenly ideas started to return.
You wanted to write or sing or create a company, or be of service, or paint or build Legos or design or speak or write a book.
Maybe you wanted to create something that didn't exist before.
47:22
And this is not a distraction from your healing path.
It's really the evidence that life is returning.
Creativity is the movement of what is inside of you in the form.
I love the quote that says what you are is God's gift to you and what you do with yourself and your gifts is your gift to God.
47:40
When you use your creativity to make things, you honour that divine spark within you.
And also when creativity returns, there might be a lot of old fears and old social contracts that returns with it.
You feel inspired and then immediately you judge the idea.
47:57
You hear a melody, but you decide your voice is not ready.
You begin writing, but you imagine how other people respond before you have allowed the work to even breed.
Your creative gift can be killed while it's still being evaluated, like a child having a critical parent over their shoulder.
48:13
Then we just stop.
You don't need also the confidence before you create.
Confidence often comes after you're created enough times to know you can survive being seen.
Your task here is not to remove every vulnerable part of you before you begin.
Your task is to create a process strong enough to continue while vulnerability is still present.
48:33
In the workbook.
I ask you, what did you love creating before fear interrupted it?
And you don't have to answer to what you think would be impressive.
What did you naturally move to work?
So for example, me as a child, I love making things in clay, I love drawing and I love singing.
What was your obsession as a child where you could make something for hours and where the act of creating something itself was enough?
48:57
Then you can also look at a small creation that you can complete.
Because completion energy here matters so much.
Not because the result needs to be perfect, but because completion teaches you and your creative energy that it will not always be abandoned halfway through or after the idea.
49:14
So let a song become a song.
Let the page become a page.
Let an idea enter.
Matter creation is one of the ways life knows you are available.
It's a way for you to show the universe.
Hey, I'm open for these brilliant cosmic ideas to be born through me.
49:31
Learning to create structure and complete creative impulses impacts every single part of your life.
The 8th gift for moving through is joy.
And this might be one of the most difficult gifts to hold over time because it's a very dynamic little butterfly.
49:48
And if your life has been organized around survival or control, you may be extremely skilled at needing stress or pain or worry.
You know how to find a wound.
You know how to analyse trigger.
You know how to prepare for what might go wrong.
But what happens when nothing goes wrong?
50:04
Well, what happens when life becomes amazing, quiet, loving, delicious?
When someone loves you deeply, Like, holy moly, this love is so juicy.
When your body feels good.
When you have enough.
When your stomach is full and everyone around you is healthy and unhappy.
50:23
Or when you are healthy and happy.
When there is beauty in front of you and no problem demanding your attention, can you remain there?
And how long can you stay with that energy?
How deeply can you hold and feel this gift or do something inside of you?
50:41
Begin searching for the next thing you need to do, your fix?
Joy can feel very vulnerable because Joy asks us to stop bracing, to stop controlling.
It asks you to receive the moment before you know how long it will last.
It asks you to not control that moment because then we've removed the wings of the butterfly and it wants to fly freely moment by moment.
51:02
And most of us who meet Joy and then the mind says, don't relax.
You got unanswered emails and things to do.
And even though there will be unanswered emails the day we die that we will never get to answer, we might then just jump into our inbox and look for a new energetic loop to initiate then to enjoy the moment we're already in.
51:21
And you also might feel guilty because a part of you believe that joy must be earned through sufficient suffering.
I call it scrubbing the floor for Jesus syndrome.
Well, if other people are suffering, I need to suffer a little bit as well and then I can enjoy my ice cream.
But joy should not be the reward you receive after completing all of your healing.
51:41
Joy is the healing.
It is one of the gifts our inner child brings us.
It teaches your body that life is not a sequence of to do lists and problems to fix.
And in the workbook, I ask you what is already present in your life that deserves to be enjoyed?
Can you let the music enter you?
52:00
Can you celebrate yourself without needing the celebration to prove anything?
Can something beautiful be enough while it's happening?
Your practice here is not force positivity.
You're not denying any grief or pain.
You're just expanding your capacity to hold all the goodness alongside everything else.
52:20
That is true sometimes Your next integration edge is not learning how to tolerate more pain.
It is learning to remain present with joy and to dive so deep into joy that you just wiggle in bed at night with like a happiness attack and say best day ever.
52:37
Movement 3 takes us to belonging, to life, because up until now we have been exploring what returns inside of you, how you begin to hold it, but you do not heal in isolation from life.
Ayahuasca can really easily become escapism, at least it was for me.
52:57
I ran to the retreat and finally I felt I had a place where I could be myself.
And I misunderstood that I am shaped through relationship.
You are also shaped through your community, through the earth, through love, through conflict and repair, to your relationship with Spirit, God, mystery, whatever name you give to what is larger than your individual mind.
53:18
So this movement asks you wherever you can remain yourself while becoming a part of something greater in this world.
And that takes us to the 9th gift of belonging.
Belonging is the experience of being able to bring more of yourself into a relationship, a friendship, a community, a space, A feel that your presence is welcome.
53:38
It is not only about being surrounded by people, it's about being truly met.
It's about being able to share what is true for you and to feel that it has a space.
It is knowing that your voice, your sensitivity, your humour, your gifts, your way of seeing life can exist in connection with others.
53:58
And as you walk the ayahuasca path, you may begin to notice that belonging has already entered your life.
Perhaps you met people who understand parts of you that once felt really difficult to explain.
Perhaps there is a new friendship that came to ceremony and integration and community.
54:14
Perhaps you have conversations now that feels really deep and honest.
Or maybe you found a place where you can speak about your inner life without feeling that you have to translate yourself and your emotions and your experiences.
This is belonging, and you may recognize the gift in the people you can call when something really matters to you, within the person who checks in on you, within the community where your contribution is valued, with a friend who celebrates your growth, and in the moment where you realize that somebody remembers what you shared and genuinely cares about what happens next.
54:51
Belonging can also appear as your own growing willingness to participate.
You may want to be more open now.
You're more willing to speak in a circle or ask for support, or willing to let people see you before everything is resolved.
You may notice that you no longer wait until you are in crisis before reaching out for help, or you allow connection to become a part of your life while life is happening.
55:14
The gift of belonging for me is also expressed through contribution.
There may be a group or friendship or community that has become richer because you are a part of it.
Because your presence matters, your listening matters, your experience and wisdom matters, and your laughter, your tenderness, your perspective, and your willingness to show up all shape the spaces you enter.
55:37
Belonging is not only something you receive, it's something you help create.
And each time you listen, we care.
You speak honestly.
You offer support.
You allow another person to feel seen.
You strengthen the field of belonging around you.
You become part of the reason someone else feels less alone or more safe and healthy.
55:56
Belonging allows you to remain full of yourself while being connected.
You can participate without performing, you can receive support without giving away your authority, and you can disagree and remain in a relationship.
There is so much room for individuality within true connection, and belonging may also now be really visible in your life in the way you choose your new relationships.
56:20
Perhaps you're more drawn to people who are more honest or kind or emotional, available or responsible.
Perhaps you recognize more quickly when there is reprocity, or perhaps you can feel the difference between being tolerated and being welcomed.
And when you look for this gift in your life of belonging, there may already be places where you belong so much more deeply than you realize.
56:43
So look at the people who already know your story.
Look at the places where your body relaxes.
Look at the friendships where you can be quiet without feeling awkward.
Look at the people with whom you can laugh and grade and share and pray and sing, or simply be.
And look at the moments where you felt included without having to ask.
57:01
These are all expressions of that gift.
And you created this.
And when you open the Belonging section of your workbook, I ask you, where do I already belong?
And maybe it's a family that you chose yourself.
A ceremony circle, a creative community, a place in nature, a tree, a group of people committed to healing.
57:20
A relationship where truth can be shared every single time.
Belonging doesn't have to be perfect to be real.
It might be growing and expanding.
It might be tender, it might exist in one relationship before it expands into wider community.
But honour Wood is there.
57:35
And then ask.
And how do I want to participate without abandoning myself?
Perhaps your next step, or your next expansion is to speak a little bit more honestly.
Perhaps it is to lead, or to do a contribution for yourself.
Perhaps it is to offer your gifts to the community.
57:51
Maybe you want to share a song or something that feels like being on the edge of your own transmission.
Because our belonging, it grows through participation.
And when we all get to participate with our gifts, we all get to utilize the instruments that we have uniquely to us.
58:06
And then the whole community shines.
Because when you rise, we all rise.
The 10th gift is spiritual connection.
Because Ayahuasca might open your relationship with spirit, ancestors, the divine nature, prayer, or an intelligence you can't really explain.
58:24
You may feel held by life in a way that you have never felt before.
You may feel grace, divinity, experience, love that is larger than any personal history.
You may understand reality contains more mystery than your mind can ever organise.
And that can be the most profound gift of them all.
58:42
To just know that we're not alone here.
That we're not all in the Trump show or whatever show that is in the media.
That there is a bigger mystery, that there are spirits guiding us, waiting for us, supporting us.
But the deepest spiritual gift is not only what we experience in ceremony.
59:01
It's in trust, humility, discernment, and the responsibility that remains afterwards.
How does your spiritual connection change the way you live on an ordinary Tuesday?
Are you only spiritual when you show up in ceremony in your white clothes and you show your humble self?
59:18
Or does it also influence the way you speak?
When you're angry, how do you use your power?
How do you treat your body?
How do you respond when no one is watching you?
Spirituality should not make you less present in human life.
It should bring you more deeply into it because we came here to have a human experience.
59:37
So how deeply human are you willing to let yourself be?
Because spiritual language can also become a place to hide.
You might call something divine guidance because you don't want to examine your desire.
So you might say the universe will provide while refusing practical responsibility.
59:54
Or you may hand your authority to facilitate, or a shaman or a teacher or a vision, because questioning feels less spiritual than obedience.
But genuine spiritual connection does not require you to abandon any discernment.
It does not require you to abandon evidence or consent or your body or capacity to question.
1:00:10
And in the workbook, I ask you, does your spirituality make you more grounded and responsible?
And I want you to sit with that.
Because so many times I meet those that have been on this ayahuasca journey and they have grown so much, this spiritual ego and all of these spiritual concepts and strategies.
1:00:30
And when I asked them, how do you feel at this moment, they can't answer me, but they can tell me a story or a concept or strategy behind that concept, how they're feeling.
So for me, true spirituality does not grow into all of these spiritual concepts.
1:00:48
You know, some will come and say we have 592 chakras.
And for me, these concept doesn't matter.
What matters to me is to be grounded and honest and humble and capable of meeting real reality.
And all of these concepts might be true for someone else.
1:01:04
That is amazing.
I'm focusing on what is the truth within me, What have I been shown?
How can I integrate?
How can I transform?
How can I heal and expand?
How can I integrate my own life?
Choose the practice that keeps your connection alive.
1:01:21
Outside ceremony and after that practice, ask what practical response it requires from you.
Don't just stay with the spiritual vision.
Go a bit deeper.
Maybe prayer asks you to apologize.
Maybe connection with the earth asks you to care for your body and your garden and spending more time in nature.
1:01:42
Maybe spiritual trusts ask you to act, for you have been waiting for certainty.
The sacred becomes real when it enters your conscious choices, but it needs that container in your human form, in your human decisions.
So give that divine gift that you have had, that divine experience, that spiritual experience, an embodied home in your real life.
1:02:05
Last movement is movement #4 bringing your gifts into this world.
That's the final movement.
You have returned to yourself.
You have learned how to hold what has returned.
You're allowing yourself to belong and more fully to life.
And eventually the gifts begin asking to move.
1:02:22
They no longer just want to remain in the sight of you.
Healing begins asking to become wisdom.
Creativity asked to come into form.
Truth is asking for architecture.
Love is asking for participation, a love story.
This is where the inner work becomes visible in the world.
1:02:39
And that takes us to gift #11 purpose and service.
Because at some point what you have lived begins becoming wisdom and embodied intelligence.
You understand something because you'll walk through it, and you know these people coming to you because they send that understanding.
1:02:56
You feel called to create, support, teach, facilitate, lead, or offer something you wish had existed when you needed it on your journey.
Purpose does not always arrive as one enormous mission.
Sometimes it begins as a very quiet pattern, a subject that you just continue to be obsessed about, or returning to a group of people you deeply understand.
1:03:18
Problem you can't stop caring about.
A form of work that keeps calling you back.
And part of you that has always been there throughout your entire life journey that has never changed, suddenly has the confidence to act and express its interest and love for a certain subject.
1:03:36
But feeling called is not the same as being ready.
Every calling needs a container.
Service sometimes needs training and boundaries, humility, mentorship, responsibility.
Otherwise, service can become rescuing.
You can try to heal everyone because their pain activates your own.
1:03:52
Or you give more than you can hold because being needed makes you feel valuable.
Or you move into role before you have developed a structure required to care for the people entering your experience and your desires.
They matter, Your calling matters, but neither one removes the responsibility to prepare.
1:04:09
And in the workbook, I ask you, what has your life prepared you to understand?
And it's a beautiful place to start.
What do you already know from your lived experience?
Who do you genuinely understand?
Where do you speak the same language where you don't have to translate?
1:04:25
And then ask what your service requires from you now, not just on a spiritual level, but really practical.
What training or support or structure do you need?
What continued inner or out of work your gifts?
They become service when they can move through you without requiring another person to carry your unmet needs.
1:04:45
And thankfully, you don't need to save anyone or fix anyone or heal anyone.
You only need to become responsible for what is yours to offer.
And for me, service is such a great gift.
And if you've never been of service before, I really welcome you to try it out in any shape or form.
1:05:01
If it's supporting a soup kitchen, if it's cleaning the toilet after an ayahuasca ceremony, any form of service where we're not asking for anything back, for just asking to be of service is expansion on steroids.
It is so beautiful and it's so nourishing, and it also leads to greater humility.
1:05:22
And this path of healing is truly the path of humility.
So it's a beautiful door into deeper humility and understanding and respect for everyone around you, including yourself.
The 12th Gifts is so fun.
1:05:38
It is creation.
And this gift brings everything we talked about together.
Because the final question is not only what did ayahuasca give you, the final question is what are you building with what you have received?
Because it's your life that is the masterpiece here.
It's not Ayahuasca's life and healing must eventually enter your relationships.
1:05:58
Truth must enter your decisions.
Self love must become boundaries and care.
Creativity must be given time and form.
Spiritual connection must enter ordinary responsibility and a human life, a human messy life.
Purpose must become a contribution.
1:06:14
And creation is where inner world becomes outer reality.
It is where insights become architecture.
And this can be sometimes frightening because creation exposes you.
It is often easier to just keep processing or creating ideas in your mind than to build.
1:06:32
Because if you're processing or you're reverse engineering in your mind everything that you're going to be doing, you can stay private and hidden.
You can keep preparing and healing and researching and waiting.
But building asks for commitment and time and resources and visibility and responsibility.
1:06:47
And you might make a mistake.
Or fall or fail.
You may discover that the vision requires more work than the ceremony revealed.
But if your outer life never changes, the gift has nowhere to live.
Because what guided you and took you here might not be what is holding the container in the life that you're actually becoming and growing into.
1:07:09
And you also can't ask the person you're becoming to remain indefinitely inside the structures created by the person you had to be.
Your calendar might need to change, your environment and the people you have around you might need to change, and the way you use money, energy, attention, validation and time might need to change.
1:07:29
And in the workbook, I ask you what parts of your life still belong to an old version of you?
And if you look at that honestly, what is the first thing that comes up for you?
And then you can ask yourself even deeper, what Are you ready to build from now?
1:07:47
Not next year or when you feel ready.
What Are you ready to build?
Creation does not mean forcing the entire future into existence right now.
It means participating in it.
It means making one decision today that gives your emerging, expanding life somewhere to land.
1:08:03
Now, obviously, you don't need to turn all of these 12 gifts into another healing project.
And you don't need 12 new goals.
You don't need to leave this episode feeling that you are behind in 12 new different dimensions of your life that would repeat the exact pattern we began with the search for what is missing.
1:08:22
Instead, open the final section of your workbook and choose three gifts you want to work on.
The 1st is a gift that is already alive, something you can recognize right now.
Maybe your voice has returned.
Maybe you can hold the boundary.
Maybe you complete a relationship, or your relationship with your body has changed.
1:08:39
Maybe you have more faith or joy or creativity or courage than you had before.
Let yourself just acknowledge it, celebrate it.
Let gratitude enter the building where you have been, minimizing your own transmission.
The second is a gift that has appeared but still needs cultivation.
1:08:55
You touched it, you tickled it.
You know it's real, but it needs a stronger container.
What practice, relationship, boundary, ritual structure would help it remain?
And the third is a gift that is asking to move through you now, something you're ready to create or express or offer or contribute.
1:09:16
So you don't need to ask, what do I need to do with my entire life?
Ask what one movement would allow this gift to enter the world?
One gift is already alive.
One gift is learning to remain, and one gift is ready to move.
Write them down.
1:09:32
I would love for you to share with me in the comments under this episode what is 1 gift Ayah ask has brought into your life.
Your reflections and your gifts may become the mirror to help someone else recognize what they have been overlooking.
Because we are all mirrors and reflecting each other on this path.
1:09:50
And sometimes someone else's courage helps you recognize your own, and sometimes someone else's gratitude helps you stop and see how far you actually have come already.
And for those of you who are ready to explore these gifts inside a committed community and a safe container, our next sacred integration journey begins in September.
1:10:10
It's a 5 month container for people who are ready to stop collecting ideas and insights and begin building and integrating a life that can haul what the medicine has shown them.
We also have an upcoming Ayahuasca integration retreat here in Spain beginning September 25th, and you will find more information about this in the workbook and also in the episode description and biweekly we are offering free transmission, breathwork sessions and integration circles and you find more information about them on ayahuascaintegration.org.
1:10:42
It was so lovely spending this time with you, my friend.
See you next week.
